


family

by laurenjauregui



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 03:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15234228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurenjauregui/pseuds/laurenjauregui
Summary: Camila Cabello has nowhere to live for her sophomore year of college, so she answers an online ad and moves in with Lauren Jauregui. At first, Lauren seems like everything Camila isn't; extroverted, surrounded by friends, and has a seemingly perfect life. But the closer Camila gets to Lauren, the more she realises that Lauren is hiding something from her, and Camila wants nothing more than to earn the older girl's trust.





	family

**_ August _ **

Camila stares at the silver number three plastered on the light wooden door, and adjusts the box in her hand. She sucks in a deep breath, not sure if she’s able to go through with this, but knowing she has to.

Not two weeks ago, she was freaking out about finding somewhere to live for her sophomore year of college. Of course, she’d decided to go with the most obvious solution; go back to dorms. Even though she’d hated it, it was a thousand times better than moving into an apartment with a stranger (or strangers), because at least she’d have the assurance that it was a fellow student living with her. But _then_ , she’d been informed that _sorry, anyone above freshman year cannot return to the dorms due to the amount of incoming students_ , so that had put a grinding halt to her plans.

She’d made the long drive from Miami to New York with her family, all of her college things stuffed in the trunk of the car or littered across the backseat, practically concealing Camila and Sofi while her parents sat comfortably in the front. She’d had nowhere to live, and obviously, was freaking out.

Her parents promised to stay with her in a cheap hotel until they figured things out, pretending that it was a vacation to Sofi, who believed that wholeheartedly. But, they didn’t end up staying long, after finding an advertisement online, with someone looking for a roommate. Initially, Camila was a little put off by the whole ‘girls only’ thing, because she worried it might be some frat boy, trying to lure girls in or something, but as she read it through, some of her fears had worn off. It had started off explaining the place, and it didn’t sound like a total dive, like Camila was expecting, and _then_ it went onto something better.

_I’m out a lot, because I’m a student at Columbia University, and I have a job bartending most nights of the week, so you’ll likely have the place to yourself a lot of the time._

That had Camila hook, line and sinker. As the biggest introvert on planet earth, a lot of alone time is perfect for her. She’d replied to the ad, not expecting a response, but had received an email back from the landlord, asking her to come and look around. That’s when she met the landlord in question; a short, welcoming woman named Ally, who gave her the tour of the apartment. She hadn’t been able to meet her possible new roommate, because she’d been at a college class or something, and two days later, she’d gotten a call, again from the landlord, telling her that _Lauren_ – her new roommate, she assumes – had offered her the room if she was still interested.

And that brings her to now. Waiting outside the door of her new apartment, about to move in with a stranger.

“Mija, just unlock the door,” Alejandro groans, adjusting the boxes in his hands. “These boxes are heavy. How many books do you _need_?”

Camila sighs, and tucks the box she’s holding under her arm, fumbling with her new keys, before turning them in the lock. She sucks in a deep breath, not wanting to meet this roommate just yet, but when she opens the door, the place seems empty.

She breathes out a sigh of relief and heads into the apartment, remembering the door of the room she’d looked at, and opening it up, dropping her box on the bed. Sinu and Alejandro follow her in, carrying a lot more, and Sofi skipping after them, not carrying anything.

“I thought you said you were moving in with another person,” Sofi points out, looking around, “there’s nobody here.”

“Well, I mean, it said in the ad that she’d be out a lot,” Camila answers, shrugging, having to keep it to herself that she’s actually _happy_ about that. Her parents had been glad that she’s moving in with someone; while they know and understand Camila’s social anxiety, they’re constantly badgering her about joining clubs and making friends.

Her parents stay to help her unpack, and Camila is relieved that her roommate doesn’t show up before they leave; she knows her parents will embarrass her endlessly, and then the other woman will think she’s a weird loner with no friends.

(Which is entirely _true_ , but Camila doesn’t want her to know that.)

After a few tearful goodbyes from her parents and sister, and promising she’ll come home for thanksgiving, she watches them leave, wishing she was joining them for the road trip back to Miami; half because she loves playing stupid games with her sister for the trip, and half because it’d get her back _home_ , where she wants to be.

A lot of the time, she wishes she’d stayed home for college, just gone to the University of Miami, so she could live at home, but she couldn’t turn down Juilliard; she wouldn’t have forgiven herself. But other than her one _kind of_ friend, a guy called Shawn she occasionally walks to class with, she hates it here.

Sure, she’s going to have a better degree, but is that _really_ worth spending four years, alone and friendless?

She sighs, and decides to retire to her room for the night, still a little terrified about meeting her roommate, but at least this Lauren girl won’t be interested in being friends, since Camila is only staying here for the school year, and Lauren is apparently out a lot. They won’t have much time to bond or mingle, and Camila figures that it’s for the best.

She locks her bedroom door behind her, and gets ready for bed, hoping that she’ll at least get a good night’s rest in this apartment.

She’s still awake three hours later, when she hears the apartment door open and close, and a raspy voice calling out ‘hello?’, but Camila doesn’t make a move to get up, and listens to the other girl’s footsteps, before another door shuts, and the place is silent again.

-

Camila wakes up at lunchtime, and rolls out of bed, deciding she’s not going to risk running into her roommate in _pyjamas_. The last thing she wants is the other girl to think she’s a slob.

Once she’s dressed, and looking slightly presentable, Camila ventures out of her bedroom to make herself some breakfast, but there’s no sign of her roommate. The only thing that implies she lives with someone else, is a small scrap of paper on the kitchen table, with neat cursive across it. Camila picks up the note with a frown.

_Hi! Judging by the new things in the cupboards, you’ve moved in alright. Sorry I wasn’t around yesterday to help, I went to the library to study in preparation for the new school year, and then I had to work until late. I’m doing another shift until five, but maybe once I get in we could order some food and get to know one another? See you once I’m home. – Lauren._

Camila reads the note over twice, the anxiety rising in her chest. Her roommate wants to _get to know her_. There’s a postscript, with Lauren’s phone number, and an invitation to text her, but Camila shakes her head, putting the note down, trying to put it in the same position it had been it before she’d picked it up. She could always pretend she hadn’t seen it, right?

Her mother’s voice echoes in her mind, telling her, _put yourself out there, mija. If you do that, you’ll have people lining up to be friends._

 _But mami,_ Camila mentally argues _, every time I do, something goes wrong. I fuck up and say something awkward, or I trip over and embarrass myself. I can’t do it._

Camila looks down at the note worriedly, knowing that she has to meet her roommate eventually. And really, wouldn’t it be worse if she met her _after_ ignoring an obvious olive branch?

 _You can do this, Mila_ , Camila promises herself, _just treat it like you don’t care. Treat it like you’re indifferent and maybe you won’t fuck up._

But, by the time five o’clock rolls around, Camila is hiding in her room, pacing back and forth, and wondering why she’s so fucking _awkward_ , and why she can’t just go out there and talk to her roommate when she gets in.

She hears the front door open and close at five fifteen, and she bites down on her lip, sucking in a deep breath, and promising herself that _she can do this._ She can totally go out there and talk to Lauren. It can’t be that hard, right?

When she hears the same raspy _hello_ she’d heard the night before, Camila knows she has to go out there. She can’t just ignore her when this time, it’s obvious she’s awake. So, after a few more reaffirmations and assurances, Camila turns the handle on her bedroom door and steps out into certain doom.

She looks around, and sees a raven-haired girl, putting groceries into the cupboard, and she opens her mouth to say hello. But naturally, the girl turns around, and Camila’s throat closes over, because she’s _fucking beautiful_.

Her dark hair is perfectly wavy and messy, and her bright green eyes are light and happy as they study Camila. She has a fucking _nose ring_ , and Camila can see at least two tattoos, and that intimidates Camila even more. She’s practically the definition of _hot_ , and Camila literally can’t function around that.

“Oh, hey,” Lauren smiles at her, entirely cool and confident. “You must be Camila. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Lauren.”

Camila’s mouth works like a fish out of water, and she stammers out a small, _“_ hey.”

Lauren finishes putting away a few groceries, but keeps talking to her. “I would’ve been home a little earlier, since my boss let me leave at four thirty, but I figured I’d stop and pick up some things I missed on my last grocery run. So, uh, how’re you settling in?”

“Fine,” Camila stutters a little, cringing at her own awkwardness. “It’s- um, it’s nice.”

“I take it you slept okay?” Lauren asks, and Camila nods a little dumbly. “That’s good. I got in at around ten last night and called out, in case you were around, but I figured you fell asleep or something.”

“I- yeah,” Camila murmurs, even though she _hadn’t_ slept, “so, um… you work. That’s… cool.”

Again, she cringes at herself, wishing she could talk more fluently, to tell a bad joke, to just be _comfortable_ , but Lauren is way too intimidatingly attractive for any of that to even be a possibility.

“Yeah, I bartend a few nights a week at this place a few blocks away. I tried going for a job at the bar just across the street, but I guess I got beaten out by someone,” Lauren shrugs nonchalantly, “do you work?”

“Um, not during… not like, while I’m at college,” Camila gets out, trying to act casual, “but- um, when I’m home in Miami…”

“You’re from Miami?” Lauren looks up and flashes her a smile, but there’s an uneasy quality to it that Camila isn’t sure if she’s imagining. “Me too, actually.”

“I…” Camila trails off, unsure of what to say. “Yeah. I’m… from there.”

Lauren just smiles at her, and closes the kitchen cupboard, before she stretches and heads over to the couch. “Do you want to order takeout? Usually, I cook, but I’m too tired today. Figured we could order something together and get to know each other. Did you get my note?”

“Oh, um,” Camila looks over at the note in question and nods, “yeah.”

“Nice,” Lauren nods, and grabs the TV remote, “well, text me. It’d be good for us to have each other’s numbers.”

Camila nods, but makes no move to text her, just shuffles awkwardly, not sure if she should sit down on the couch or not. So, she bites down on her bottom lip and plays with her phone as a distraction, trying to act cool and casual. “So, um… what takeout are we getting?”

“I don’t mind,” Lauren comments, flicking through the channels. “There’s a cute little Thai place I order from on occasion, but it’s totally up to you.”

“I- I don’t mind,” Camila mumbles, deciding to bite the bullet and sit down next to Lauren. The other girl just smiles at her, before she turns back to the TV, finally deciding on some game show. “Thai is fine, I guess.”

“Cool.” Lauren stands up, and Camila’s stomach drops. She worries that she made Lauren uncomfortable by sitting with her, that she fucked up or something, and she decides she’s going to make an escape back to her room, but then Lauren sits down again, takeout menu in hand. “Here’s the menu. I already know what I’m getting, because I’m _that_ bitch who orders the same thing every time.”

Camila occupies herself with flicking through the menu, occasionally glancing up at Lauren, because it’s still hard to believe how pretty she is, and when Lauren catches her, Camila flushes embarrassedly and pretends that she’s decided what she’s ordering, picking something she’s had before from a different place and hoping that it’s good.

Lauren calls in the order, and Camila sits awkwardly, pretending to watch TV, but really, her mind is reeling. _Of course_ , her new roommate had to be _hot._ It was like whatever powerful force in the universe had decided _hey, let’s make this even more awkward for Camila!_

“So, what college do you go to?”

Camila jumps in surprise at Lauren’s voice, not expecting the other girl to talk to her, but she’s quick to get her response out. “Juilliard. I’m, um, a sophomore.”

“Damn, I guess you’re some kind of musical prodigy, huh?” Lauren compliments her, and Camila blushes. “I’m a junior at Columbia. Not for anything creative, though. I do joint politics and literature, and occasionally I’ll do some kind of elective relating to art. I like to paint in my free time.”

“Oh,” Camila mumbles, unsure of what to say. “That’s… that’s cool.”

“I wasn’t sure about taking any art classes in college, in case it looked bad on my transcript. A lot of people don’t see that as credible, which fucking sucks.” Lauren continues, shrugging. “But, you know, I decided _fuck it._ I actually met my best friend in my art elective freshman year, so it worked out.”

Camila doesn’t have any of her own stories about meeting friends, so she keeps quiet, mumbling a small acknowledgement to Lauren. “Cool.”

Lauren just smiles at her. “So, what do you like to do for fun?”

Camila shrugs. “I like to read. And… write songs. Play my guitar.”

“Oh, that’s cool, that you play guitar and actually write your own stuff,” Lauren comments, genuinely seeming interested. “How long have you been doing that for?”

“Guitar since I was like, ten,” Camila admits, shrugging nonchalantly. “And, um, songwriting since I was around sixteen. It’s kind of like… I don’t know, therapeutic for me.”

Lauren hums in agreement. “I can see why it would be.”

“Um, yeah,” Camila nods, trying to further the conversation, “what do you do? For fun, I mean, not like… work or school or whatever. Because you already… told me about that.”

Lauren doesn’t make fun of her for rambling. “A lot of the time I just go out clubbing with my friends, but I do like to read, too. It’s nice to just relax in bed with a good book.”

Camila cringes a little at _go out clubbing_ , because she physically can’t comprehend how anybody could enjoy that. It’s cramped and way too loud and you can barely hear yourself think, let alone _talk_ to anyone. “Oh, that’s… interesting.”

When she turns back to the TV, Lauren holds out the remote. “You can change it, if you want.”

“No, it’s okay,” Camila shrugs, not really caring _what’s_ on TV, if she’s being honest. “So, um, if you like going out with friends so much, then why are you choosing to spend your Saturday night at home?”

“Well, obviously I wanted to get to know you, since we’re going to be living together for the next year,” Lauren points out, shrugging, “besides, a lot of my friends aren’t moving back until tomorrow, literally the _day_ before classes start. Next weekend will probably be the weekend we celebrate being back together for the school year.”

“Oh,” Camila acknowledges, humming, “I guess you’ve got a lot of friends, then.”

Lauren laughs a little. “No more than the regular amount. And we’re all from different ends of the country, so I only really see them during the school year. What about you? Got any plans now that you’re back here?”

Not wanting Lauren to think she’s a totally friendless loser, Camila just shrugs nonchalantly. “Yeah, totally, lots of plans.”

Before Lauren can respond, the apartment’s intercom beeps, and Lauren stands up, stretching. “That’ll be the delivery guy, wanting to be let up.”

Lauren gets up to let the delivery person up, and waits by the door for them, taking the food and passing him a wad of cash, before she kicks the door shut and sets the food on the coffee table. Camila offers her money for her meal, and surprisingly, it takes a little convincing for Lauren to take it, but she does.

They eat in silence, watching TV, and Camila feels increasingly uncomfortable, so once she’s finished, she nods towards her bedroom, thankful she’s ripped the band aid off and met Lauren, but needing her alone time. “Um… I’m going to go call my mom and make sure they got back to Miami safely. It… it was nice to meet you officially.”

Lauren smiles at her. “You too.”

 After Camila is safely inside her bedroom, she lets out a deep sigh of relief, because even though Lauren seems like a nice person, she’s still terrifying because she’s so _attractive_. Camila makes a plan to avoid her, because the last thing she needs to worry about is developing a _crush_ on her hot roommate.

-

**_ September _ **

Turns out, avoiding Lauren isn’t really that challenging.

She’d hardly seen her in the last week, and any time she hears signs of life in the apartment, Camila heads across the street to the bar she knows Lauren _doesn’t_ work at, and orders some chicken strips and a coke.

Naturally, when she walks out of her room at dinner time to cook herself a ready meal in the microwave, and sees Lauren digging through a cupboard, Camila is quick to run out of the front door and across the street to the bar, heading up to order her food.

The bartender smiles at her. “Your usual?”

Camila laughs a little. “I’ve been coming here two weeks and you already know my order?”

“When you order the same thing like ten days in a row, it’s going to be a little noticeable,” the bartender laughs, punching in Camila’s order. She comes back with a coke for the Latina, and instead of heading over to a table, Camila decides to take a seat at the bar. “So, why do you keep coming here?”

Camila looks the other woman over and sighs, shrugging. “Avoiding my roommate.”

The bartender raises her eyebrows. “Why? Are they an asshole or something?”

“No, she’s actually really sweet,” Camila explains, shrugging, “but that’s the problem. She’s nice _and_ attractive and I’m all nervous around her and it’s just… I don’t want to catch feelings.”

“So… you’re spending all of your money here _and_ on renting an apartment you’re rarely in?” The bartender raises her eyebrows, and Camila glances down at her nametag, which reads _Ashlee_. “Doesn’t seem to make much sense to me. Besides, if you got a crush, she could like you back.”

“I don’t even know if she likes girls.” Camila points out, rolling her eyes a little. “It sucks because if I _do_ get feelings, and she ends up being _straight_ , it’d make things awkward. Or, you know, more awkward than they already are, since she probably thinks I’m a psycho for avoiding her.”

“Is she clean?” Ashlee asks, and Camila doesn’t understand what that has to do with her troubles. “And is she friendly? And quiet after ten? Just… is she a good roommate?”

“Well, I’ve only lived there for two weeks,” Camila points out, but sighs when she realises the answer to all of those questions is a _yes_. “But yeah. She’s a good roommate.”

“Then you don’t want to alienate her and push her away,” Ashlee reasons, and Camila realises that she’s got a point. “If I were you, I’d stop hiding out here and actually talk to her. Screw anything trivial like catching feelings.”

Camila sighs. “But I can barely get two words out around her.”

“I don’t mean like, right this instant,” Ashlee laughs, “but when you get home. Maybe knock on her door and ask if she wants to watch something on TV together.”

“I mean, I could try.” Camila admits, thinking that it’s probably a good idea, to at least have some kind of civil relationship with Lauren. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll try.”

When her chicken strips come, Camila snacks on them, thinking about what she could say to Lauren when she gets in. _Oh, sorry I’ve avoided you for the last two weeks, I was just scared because you’re really hot_. No, probably not that. _Hey, sorry I’m so fucking awkward and weird, but I want to be friends. Just not close friends, in case I get a crush on you._ Again, probably not the best.

She mulls it over in her head as she eats, and once she’s done, she goes to pay, but Ashlee shakes her head. “It’s okay. Just promise me you’ll talk to your roommate, okay?”

Camila smiles, nodding. “Okay. Thanks, Ashlee.”

Ashlee grins back. “No problem…”

“Oh,” Camila realises she hadn’t given her name, “Camila.”

“Camila,” Ashlee repeats, smiling a little, “I like it. Let me know how everything goes, okay?”

Camila nods, knowing she’ll definitely be back, especially if things go terribly. “I will.”

She leaves the bar, still thinking over what she’s going to say to Lauren, wondering if she could get away with pretending she hadn’t avoided her at all, and acting like their schedules had clashed. After all, Lauren is out a lot of the time. Camila could be too.

She unlocks the front door to her little apartment building, locking it behind her, and then heading up the flight of stairs to their front door. She unlocks that, and opens her mouth to call out to Lauren, but she doesn’t have to.

Lauren is on the couch, making out with some girl, and Camila stands there, looking like a total idiot as the door shuts behind her.

Lauren pulls apart from the girl at the sound of the door slamming, and has the decency to look at least a little bit embarrassed. “Oh, um… Camila, I thought you were… out for the night.”

“Oh, yeah, looks like I am, got to go, bye!” Camila splutters out, slamming the front door behind her and practically sprinting down the stairs and out of the building again, hoping to _god_ that Lauren isn’t following her.

Camila feels the embarrassment rushing to her cheeks, and she knows she could never face Lauren again after walking in on _that_. So, she runs across the street to the bar and collapses in front of Ashlee again, out of breath and wide eyed.

Ashlee seems a little surprised to see her. “That was a quick talk with your roommate.”

“Well, she- she’s definitely…” Camila stammers out, unable to believe what she just saw. “She’s- she’s _not_ straight…”

Ashlee raises her eyebrows. “That’s a good thing, though. You wanted her to be-”

“I just walked in on her… with a girl,” Camila gets out, half because her brain can’t comprehend it, and half because she so rarely exercises that the run across the street had winded her. “She’s- she has a girlfriend. And- and I _walked in on them_.”

Ashlee cringes. “Well, I mean… now that you’ve seen her naked, I guess that-”

Camila chokes at the thought. “No, no! They were just kissing, but it- it was so _embarrassing_ , oh god, I can _never_ talk to her again. Do you think your boss will let me live here? I can sleep in one of the booths.”

Ashlee laughs a little, and gets Camila a glass of water. “Come on, relax. It can’t be _that_ bad, right?”

“I can _never_ face her, not after that,” Camila cringes, shaking her head, and when she feels her phone buzz in her pocket, she pulls it out, reading the contact name and already wanting to die. “Oh my god, she just texted me. She’s probably telling me to pack my bags and get out.”

Ashlee rolls her eyes. “Just read it. I doubt she’ll kick you out for walking in on her making out with her girlfriend.”

Camila cringes, but hopes that Ashlee is right, so she gets her phone out again and unlocks it, reading Lauren’s message.

**_Lauren (8:49PM): I’m so sorry, Camila. I genuinely thought you were out with friends for the rest of the night. I should’ve thought it through and hung out with Lucy in my room. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable._ **

**_Lauren (8:49PM): jesus christ of course I made you uncomfortable I’m so fucking sorry_ **

“Oh,” Camila says as she reads the messages over. “She’s just apologising.”

Ashlee smiles a little. “See? And now you know she likes girls. Granted, in a little more of a full-frontal way than just _asking_ her, but… whatever.”

“It’s still awkward, though…” Camila insists, shaking her head. “I still walked in on her and her girlfriend making out.”

Ashlee shrugs. “Yeah, but it’s not like they were fucking, is it?”

Camila cringes at the mental image, but it definitely makes her more grateful that they’d only been kissing. It definitely could’ve been so much worse. “I guess.”

“Are you going to go back over there and talk to her?” Ashlee asks. “Or are you going to hide out here?”

Naturally, Camila elects to hide from her problems, her biggest talent, and when she finally decides to go back to the apartment at eleven, and Lauren is nowhere to be seen, she runs into her bedroom and locks the door, trying not to think about the inevitable awkward talk she’ll have to have with Lauren.

-

Of course, that talk happens at one the next day, when Camila is eating her Lucky Charms at the speed of light, in an attempt to get out of the kitchen as soon as she can.

“Hey.”

Camila cringes, looking up and meeting Lauren’s gaze for a split second, before she looks away. “Hi.”

“So, um,” Lauren takes the seat across from her, and Camila keeps wolfing down her cereal as if nobody is there. “About last night…”

Camila pauses, shaking her head. “We don’t need to talk about it.”

“We do,” Lauren retorts. “And since you didn’t reply to my texts… I’m sorry. This is your home too, and I didn’t think that through. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. It won’t happen again.”

Camila just shrugs. “I shouldn’t have just walked in.”

“It was the _lounge_ , Camila,” Lauren points out, rolling her eyes, “you have a right to just walk in there.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Camila tries to brush the subject off, increasingly uncomfortable by the minute, “I didn’t mean to ruin things for you and your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Lauren says, and Camila hates herself for that small spark of hope in her chest, so she just shuffles uncomfortably and gets up to wash her bowl. “I get that it made you uncomfortable, but the way you’re acting right now makes me think you’re a little homophobic.”

Camila snorts without thinking. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Lauren frowns at her in disapproval, “and I really don’t want to think that kind of thing about you.”

Camila can’t help herself; she laughs. “Yeah, I’m like, the biggest homophobe ever. Totally.”

“What?” Lauren blinks in surprise, before she frowns again, this time in confusion. “Wait, why are you laughing? It’s not _funny_ , it’s-”

“Because,” Camila laughs, shaking her head, “I’m probably the gayest person on the planet. But yeah, I’m _totally_ homophobic.”

“Oh,” Lauren seems to take the information in, before she smiles a little, “oops.”

“Yeah,” Camila laughs, putting her bowl on the side to dry. “But, um, I _am_ sorry about walking in on you and that girl. In case you really liked her and I just like, cockblocked.”

Lauren snorts, shaking her head. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Oh, so you just kiss everyone that isn’t your girlfriend and you don’t like?” Camila sarcastically responds, before she realises who she’s talking to, and how she’s _not_ close with Lauren, and she _can’t_ be herself, and she puts her walls back up. “Um… sorry, I’ll just… I’m going to go.”

As Camila tries to run back to her room and hide for the rest of the day, Lauren stops her, grabbing her by the arm. “Hey, wait.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip, looking anywhere but Lauren. “Aren’t we done talking about… you know…?”

“Well, yeah,” Lauren laughs a little, “I was just wondering if you were busy today.”

“Oh,” Camila murmurs, shrugging, “I’m not sure. Why?”

(She totally _is_ sure, but she’s trying to maintain to Lauren that she’s _not_ a friendless weirdo.)

“My friends and I are going out for a couple drinks,” Lauren comments, and Camila doesn’t understand why she needs to know that. “Do you want to come?”

Camila blinks in surprise, because _that’s_ never happened before. But, because she’s so painfully awkward, she blurts out a loud _no_ before she can think about it. “I mean, um… I- I _don’t_ know… know with the K…”

Lauren sends her a fond smile. “Well, that’s okay. Think it over. I’m just going to get a quick shower, so let me know once I’m done, okay?”

Camila nods dumbly, and watches as Lauren disappears into the bathroom, and Camila’s brain goes haywire. It’s weird, because the first thing she wants to do is run across the street and ask Ashlee for advice, but she knows she’s not working, and she wouldn’t want to hear Camila’s problems anyway. The only reason they’d spoken last night was because she was working and felt obligated. That’s all.

She thinks it over, and decides that she’d like to spend time with Lauren, but she’s way too nervous to do it now. Especially because there’s going to be _other people_ there. People she doesn’t _know_. While Camila _wants_ friends, she’s way too scared to actually go out and _make_ friends, because that involves throwing herself into situations she’s not comfortable with. And here the universe was, practically handing her a friend under her own roof, and Camila is too afraid to talk to her properly because she’s _pretty._

She’s still debating joining Lauren and her friends for drinks, when the older Latina walks out of the bathroom wrapped in nothing but a towel, her wet hair dripping across her pale skin, and Camila thinks _yeah, I really am the gayest person on the planet_.

Camila hastily runs into her room and slams the door behind her, her flight instinct kicking in, and she tries to weigh the positives and the negatives of going out with Lauren and her friends.

 _Pros – you could make friends; you could make friends with_ Lauren _; you could have fun; it might get you out of your comfort zone. Cons – Lauren’s friends might hate you which in turn could make Lauren hate you; you might do something awkward and embarrass yourself even more; who are you kidding, they’ll probably hate you; yeah, just don’t bother going._

She comes to her conclusion and decides to stay home and read a book, wallowing in her own personal regret, when there’s a knock on her bedroom door. “Come in.”

Lauren walks in, fully dressed this time, thankfully. “Are you coming?”

“I-” Camila opens her mouth to say no, but looks up at Lauren and blurts out, “yes,” without thinking.

Lauren beams at her. “Nice. I don’t know if you drink or not, but don’t worry, you don’t have to just because my friends and I do.”

“I mean, I don’t _not_ drink, just…” Camila shrugs, stopping the _I just don’t have anyone to drink with_ from coming out. “I just don’t do it excessively.”

“Oh, well, we’re not getting drunk, it’s just day drinking,” Lauren laughs, nodding towards the door. “Are you ready to go now?”

“Yeah,” Camila says, hoping that skinny jeans and a flannel shirt count as presentable, “Unless… unless I need to change, if there’s a dress code or something…”

Lauren watches her carefully, before she shakes her head. “No, you’re good. Come on.”

Camila follows Lauren out into the lounge, fumbling with her shoelaces as she tugs her converse on, because she’s so fucking nervous, and she _knows_ that Lauren knows. She’s grateful that the other girl doesn’t say anything about it, because it makes Camila twenty times _more_ anxious when people point out how anxious she is.

“Oh, um, before we go…” Lauren pauses, hand on the door handle. “Would you mind not… not mentioning what you saw last night? My friends don’t exactly…”

Camila blinks in surprise. “They don’t know you’re gay?”

“I’m not gay,” Lauren is quick to get out, and Camila frowns, but the older girl rectifies. “I’m bisexual. And, um… they know, but they don’t know that Lucy and I hook up sometimes. And we’d rather not tell them because they’d ask questions and complicate it.”

“So… your friends don’t know you’re dating your other friend.” Camila says aloud, trying to comprehend the situation. “I mean, I wasn’t going to say anything anyway.”

Lauren ignores that last part. “We’re not dating.”

“Okay,” Camila shrugs, “I wasn’t going to tell anyway.”

She makes sure to take her own set of keys, in case she gets too uncomfortable and has to make some awkward excuse to leave, and follows Lauren out of the apartment, frowning a little when she stops in front of their landlord’s apartment and knocks.

“Why do you need to talk to the landlord?” Camila asks, a little worried that this whole invitation out was just a lie to get her to the landlord’s apartment to complain about her.

“She’s my friend,” Lauren laughs a little, “and she’s only our landlord on a technicality. Her _dad_ is the actual landlord and she’s helping him out until she has enough money to open her own bakery. She just graduated last year. She’s actually why I picked you to be my roommate.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Lauren says, “I couldn’t really meet anyone, because I was getting back into my shifts at work. I stayed here for most of the summer, but I had to fly back to Miami a couple times because of… family things. So… I didn’t really have time, and Ally offered. I trust her judgement, so… yeah.”

“Oh,” Camila answers, as the door to their landlord’s apartment opens and Ally, the woman she’d met when she was viewing the apartment, walks out, beaming at them both. Camila awkwardly greets her. “Hi.”

“Hi, Camila,” Ally smiles at her, “it’s nice to see you again. Lo, are you driving, or am I?”

Lauren scrunches her nose up in disgust, shaking her head. “I’m definitely not driving.”

“Guess that means I am, then,” Ally laughs a little, and Camila follows the two friends out to Ally’s car, and clambers in the backseat, wishing she’d brought her headphones, but of course, in her nervous stupor, she’d left them on her bed.

She settles on scrolling through Twitter, assuming that Ally and Lauren will talk between themselves, but of course, the eldest girl won’t let that happen. “So, Camila, where are you from?”

“Miami,” Camila answers, “but I’m originally from Cuba.”

“You never told me that,” Lauren turns around and fixes her with a small smile. “I’m Cuban too.”

Camila blushes a little, because she likes knowing she has something in common with her hot, unattainable roommate. Her hot, unattainable roommate who _kind of_ has a girlfriend.

Ally turns to Lauren, “are we picking Lucy up?”

At the name, Camila has a sense of familiarity, and when she sees the way Lauren tenses, Camila realises. Lauren’s not-girlfriend. The one she was making out with.

“Uh, yeah, I think so,” Lauren answers, shrugging, “I’ll text her.”

After a few minutes, Lauren tells Ally that yes, they’re picking Lucy up, and Camila naturally feels a little pang of jealousy that this other girl is more likely to become Lauren’s girlfriend than she ever would.

Not that she _wants_ to be Lauren’s girlfriend. She just wants to be friends, because it’s convenient, since they’re roommates.

When Ally pulls up outside another apartment complex, Lauren gets out of the car, and Camila frowns a little, but then she hops into the backseat with Camila. Then, another girl gets into the front, and Camila studies her carefully.

Lucy turns in her seat and sends her a smile. “So, you’re Lo’s new roommate.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip and nods. “Yeah.”

“Nice to meet you,” Lucy says, smirking a little and lowering her voice, “ _officially_.”

Lauren coughs loudly and sends Lucy a warning glare, and the other girl just laughs and turns back around. Lauren sighs a little, and rests her head against the window, and stays quiet for the rest of the drive to whichever bar they’re getting drinks at.

When Ally finds a parking spot, Camila clambers out, and watches Lauren carefully, but the older Latina doesn’t do anything like take Lucy’s hand, or something else you’d do with a _not-girlfriend_ , and _why do you even care so much, Camila?_

She stops berating herself, and decides that she doesn’t care. Lauren can be as not-girlfriendly as she wants with Lucy. It’s not like Camila wants to know if she’s single or anything.

As they approach a bar, Camila is quick to catch up to Lauren and murmurs, “do you mind if I sit next to you?”

Lauren sends her a small smile. “No, that’s okay.”

“Thanks,” Camila answers, because even though she’s not entirely comfortable around Lauren, Lauren is the only person there that she knows. “It’s okay if you don’t want to or-”

“It’s fine, Camila,” Lauren flashes her a smile, “are you going to get a drink?”

Camila shrugs, following Lauren into the bar. “I mean… I don’t have a fake I.D. and I’m not… old enough…”

Lauren laughs. “That’s okay, I’ll order for you. If you want one, that is.”

“I… yeah, okay,” Camila agrees, because it’s only _one_ drink. She follows Lauren and her friends into a booth, and slides in before Lauren, happy when the older girl sticks to her word and sits next to her. She picks up a drinks menu, turning it over in her hands, frowning. “I’ve never really… had cocktails before.”

Lauren smiles, shrugging. “I can just… get you something I think you’ll like?”

“Okay, just… let me know how much it is, because I brought money.” Camila says, playing with the cash in her coat pocket. “I’m not-”

She starts talking about how she’s not going to let Lauren pay for her, but she’s cut off by two flawless girls greeting them and sitting down at the table, and Camila hadn’t realised they were meeting more people here.

“Oh, hey, there’s a person I don’t know!” A blonde girl announces as she sits down in the booth next to Lauren. “Hi, person I don’t know. I’m Dinah.”

“Sorry about her; Dinah doesn’t know what an inside voice is,” the other girl laughs, sending Camila an apologetic smile. “I’m Normani. You’re Lauren’s new roommate, right?”

“I- yeah,” Camila nods, hating all of this attention. “I’m Camila. It’s nice to meet you. Sorry if I’m… like, gate-crashing? Lauren… said it was okay if I came.”

“No, you’re not gate-crashing,” Normani assures her, clearly sensing Camila’s anxiety. “We love meeting new people.”

“Yeah.” Dinah sends her a full-frontal grin, before she nudges Lauren and stage-whispers, “Lucky you, you got a hot roommate.”

Lauren rolls her eyes, and Camila blushes, looking down at the drinks menu again and pretending she hadn’t heard. Lauren reaches under the table and gives her hand a small, reassuring squeeze before letting go, and Camila swears she feels her heart burst into a million pieces at just that one tiny gesture.

“Leave her alone,” Lauren says to her friends, “she doesn’t need to be bombarded by your crazy yet, Dinah.”

Dinah rolls her eyes and flips her hair. “Everyone needs my crazy, Jauregui.”

Lauren just laughs and nudges her. “Move, I need to order drinks.”

“Alright, get me a coke,” Dinah commands as Lauren gets up to order drinks. Naturally, she shifts into the seat that Lauren had just vacated. “So, I’m guessing you’re in the city for college, right?”

Camila looks around, feeling all eyes on her, and wishes she had Lauren here as a buffer. “Um, yeah. I- I go to Juilliard. I do music there.”

“Whoa, for real?” Normani looks at her, grinning. “Same here. For dance, though.”

“That’s- that’s cool,” Camila comments, really hoping that Normani doesn’t know how much of a loner Camila really is, so she quickly changes the subject. “What do you guys do?”

Ally laughs. “You already know what I do, but I graduated from Columbia last year. I did business.”

“I’m at Columbia with Lo,” Lucy shrugs, “we met in an art class, but I’m doing philosophy.”

“I’m at NYU,” Dinah answers, and Camila frowns, wondering how she met the others. And how Normani met the others. “I study math, which surprises a lot of people. Don’t know why.”

Admittedly, it surprises Camila, too. “So… how did you all meet?”

“Lauren and I have been best friends since kindergarten,” Normani says, “so I met Ally and Lucy through her. I met _Dinah_ because I didn’t want to room with anyone from college last year, and Dinah was a freshman who didn’t want to go into dorms. She replied to my advertisement and I let her move in. And totally _regretted_ it.”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “Oh, shut up, you love me.”

“Not when you hog the bathroom I don’t,” Normani shoots back, but she’s smiling. “We’re rooming together this year, too. Don’t ask me why. I think I was possessed when I signed the lease.”

“Like I said before, I met Lauren in my art elective in freshman year,” Lucy shrugs, “and we met Ally when we were lost and confused when the room got switched and she helped show us the way.”

“I was a junior at the time,” Ally adds, “we kept bumping into each other around campus and they’d ask me where to find things, so eventually I just gave them both my number and told them to text if they got lost.”

“Oh, well,” Camila smiles a little, “it’s cool how you’re all good friends.”

Lucy looks over at the bar and shuffles out of the booth. “I’m going to go and help Lo with the drinks.”

Once Lucy has gone over to the bar, Normani turns to Camila with a small smile. “They dated all of sophomore year. And part of freshman year. Lauren and Lucy, I mean. We’ve been trying to get them back together ever since they broke up.”

 _So that’s why Lauren didn’t want me to mention anything_ , Camila realises. “If they broke up, then… then they don’t want to be together, right?”

Dinah just laughs. “They were together for ages, and they were so happy, and even though they’re fine being friends, they were really cute.”

“And, uh,” Normani snickers, “we don’t want Lo to date any guys. Because her taste in men is awful. Out of all the guys she’s been with, only one wasn’t an asshole.”

“And he turned out to be gay, apparently,” Ally adds with a laugh, shaking her head. “That’s probably why he wasn’t an asshole.”

Dinah opens her mouth, but Normani sends her a stern look and nods to the side of them, where Lauren and Lucy are coming back with drinks. As Lauren is placing them on the table, she nudges Dinah with her foot.

“Move,” she announces, “I’m sitting with Camila.”

Dinah sighs, grabbing her coke. “I’ll just have to keep moving every time you get up to get drinks.”

“Uh, Lucy and Mani have fake IDs and Ally’s legal,” Lauren rolls her eyes, and Dinah moves away. As she slides back into the booth, she adds. “Anyway, that’s my round over with, so I won’t need to move again.”

Camila takes the drink Lauren passes her and looks down at it sceptically, hoping she likes it. “So, um, how much do I owe you?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Lauren smiles, and when Camila sends her a stern look, she laughs. “Seriously, it’s fine. You might not even like it.”

“Exactly!” Camila says, shaking her head. “Which means it’d be a waste of your money.”

“No, it means I’d get to drink it,” Lauren laughs, and sips on her own drink, the same cocktail she’d bought Camila. “Try it.”

Camila frowns down at the drink, but takes a sip, blinking in surprise. “That doesn’t taste alcoholic at all.”

“That’s the beauty of a cocktail,” Lauren says, and Camila smiles, sipping on it again, before she grabs the drinks menu to look at the price. “Damn, already ordering another?”

“No, I’m seeing what I owe you,” Camila answers, and when she sees the price, she digs through her pocket and pushes the correct amount towards Lauren. “There.”

Lauren frowns down at the money. “It was my round, so it’s fine.”

“I only want the one drink,” Camila assures her, “so I’m paying you back.”

Lauren doesn’t make any move to pocket the money, and Dinah snorts. “I’ll take it if you’re offering up cash.”

That makes Lauren scowl a little, and she takes the money, but immediately tucks it back into Camila’s pocket. “It’s okay.”

Camila lets out a long sigh, rolling her eyes and sipping on her drink. “Fine.”

 _One drink_ turns into four, once Normani, Lucy and Ally buy a round for everyone, and when it’s Camila’s turn, she’s already pretty drunk, because she’s kind of a lightweight, and she doesn’t feel as bad about the hit her bank account will take when she buys everyone else a drink. Or, when she gives the money to Ally, so she can go up and get the drinks. Thankfully, she’s only buying three cocktails; one for herself, Lauren and Lucy, and a glass of wine for Normani. Ally had been on water the whole day, because she’s their designated driver, and Dinah had stuck with coke.

When Lauren gets up to help Ally bring the drinks back to the table, and Dinah asks Camila for her number, she doesn’t reign in her shock like she usually would. “You want my number?”

Dinah laughs. “Yeah, I asked for it, didn’t I?”

“Actually, yeah, give me your number, too,” Normani tells her, digging through her bag for her phone. “We’ll add you to the group chat.”

Lucy nods, gets her phone out as well. “Give me it, too.”

Camila tilts her head to the side, her brain way too cloudy to comprehend any of this. “Why?”

“Because we like you,” Dinah says like it’s obvious. “Duh.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “Do you mean that, or are you just lying because you feel bad for me?”

Lucy frowns at her. “Why would we feel bad for you?”

Even though it’s probably rhetorical, Camila just shrugs, not _so_ drunk that she’d tell them just how lonely she really is. “I don’t know. I guess you can have my number if you want it.”

She opens up her phone and goes into the settings, where it has her number under _phone_ , and leaves it on the table, letting them all copy it down. She knows they won’t use it, because that’s the thing people do; they ask for _your_ number so they don’t have to give you _their_ number.

But then, her phone buzzes with texts, each one identifying the person, and Camila frowns, perplexed by it, finding it hard to believe that Lauren’s friends actually like her.

Ally and Lauren come back with the drinks, and Camila smiles, taking hers and sipping on it while Ally announces that Lauren wants to get home soon, so they’ll probably be going after this drink.

Lauren sits down next to Camila again, and the younger Latina looks up at her with a dreamy smile. “You okay, Camila?”

“Mhm,” Camila says, looking down at her drink. “Yeah. Thank you for letting me live with you.”

Lauren laughs. “That’s okay.”

“Was I the only option? Or did other people want to live with you?” Camila asks, wondering how she managed to be better than any of the other applicants. “What did I do better?”

“You’ll have to ask Ally about that,” Lauren tells her. “I didn’t meet anyone, remember?”

“Oh, yes,” Camila nods, and looks over at Ally. “Why did everyone else suck? Or did I suck too, just sucked _less than_ them?”

“You didn’t suck, Camila,” Ally laughs, “you were definitely the best option. I knew Lo wanted someone quiet, but friendly, and a lot of people were asking questions about noise curfews and if they have to let me know when they’re throwing a party. And you’re a girl, unlike _some_ people who applied.”

“Oh my god, that scared me,” Camila announces, laughing, “one time, I read this story about a guy who had a girlish name and he applied to view this apartment on Craigslist, and then he showed up and the place was empty and he heard someone whisper _shit, it’s a guy_ , so there were probably some psychos there, wanting to attack someone. I mean, I didn’t think Lauren would attack me, but I was worried she was a fuckboy or something, which would be annoying, because I’m a _flaming_ homosexual, and I don’t want some annoying fuckboy flirting with me.”

Dinah bursts out laughing at the phrase _flaming homosexual_. “Oh my god, you’re hilarious. You’re actually my new favourite person.”

Lauren chuckles a little, but goes to grab Camila’s drink. “Alright, I think you’ve had enough of that.”

Camila pouts. “It’s tasty.”

“I know,” Lauren laughs, “but you just outed yourself to everyone.”

“Is it even outing if you do it yourself?” Camila frowns. “I thought that’s just coming out. Outing is when someone else does it for you, which is a dick move. My little sister outed me to my parents, but I couldn’t call her an asshole, since she was only five at the time.”

Lucy laughs a little. “My mom outed me to my dad, and then he posted about it on Instagram. To his _four million followers.”_

Camila frowns. “Why does your dad have four million followers on Instagram? My dad doesn’t even have _four_.”

“He’s Carlos Vives,” Lauren tells her, and Camila blinks in surprise. “So that’s why.”

“Oh. My dad likes your dad,” Camila comments, before she realises how that sounds. “Not in the gay way.”

The other girls laugh, and Lauren knocks back the rest of her drink and nods to the door. “Ally, want to take us home?”

“Sure,” Ally nods, getting up, “Lucy, you coming?”

“I’m going to stay and finish my drink,” Lucy replies, “I’ll go with Dinah and Mani.”

“Okay,” Ally nods, and stands up, and Camila tries sliding out of the booth after Lauren, but she slides too far and lands on her ass, looking surprised at the lack of chair underneath her butt. “Wow, I feel bad for laughing.”

At Ally’s words, Dinah laughs harder. “I don’t.”

Lauren helps her up, trying to hide the smile on her face. “Come on, klutz. Let’s go home.”

Camila frowns, bewildered. “We’re going to Miami?”

“No,” Lauren laughs, “the apartment. We’re going there.”

“Oh, okay,” Camila nods, staggering a little, and when Lauren’s arm wraps around her waist to support her, Camila blushes. “I think I’m a little drunk.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Lauren laughs, helping her into the backseat of Ally’s car. “Good thing I’m not working tonight, huh?”

Camila frowns and waits until Lauren gets in the car to question her. “Why is that a good thing?”

“Because I’ve got to make sure you’re okay,” Lauren says like it’s obvious. “Couldn’t do that if I was working, could I?”

“Well, phones exist,” Camila says, taking her phone out of her pocket and marvelling at it. “I could text someone in like, Australia right now, and it’d get there instantly. But if I wanted to _go_ to Australia, it’d take, like, a year. But I don’t want to go to Australia, because they have scary spiders.”

“Wait…” Lauren frowns, “I could’ve _sworn_ I wrote in my roommate requirements that they _can’t_ be afraid of spiders, because I am, and who the hell is going to deal with them? Certainly not me.”

Ally laughs. “Yeah, I skipped over that question on the grounds of it being ridiculous.”

Camila just frowns down at her feet and hums. “I can get them and be brave. I have to when I look after my little sister. I really miss her. She’s my best friend.”

Lauren smiles. “It’s cute that you’re close with your sister. I… yeah. It’s cute.”

Camila hums, another thought popping into her head. “Why were you okay with your roommate being a smoker? Smoking is gross.”

“Yeah, tell her, Camila,” Ally reiterates, looking over at Lauren. “Smoking is gross.”

“I don’t smoke tobacco,” Lauren rolls her eyes at Ally, and Camila doesn’t catch on. “But thanks for calling me gross, Camila.”

“Oh, I don’t think you’re gross,” Camila looks over at Lauren with a frown. “I think you’re pretty.”

Lauren smiles a little. “I think you’re pretty, too.”

“Thank you,” Camila says, yawning. “How old are you?”

“I’m twenty,” Lauren replies, not at all thrown off by the random questions. “I’m twenty-one in June. I’m guessing you’re nineteen.”

“Yes,” Camila confirms, frowning when the car stops, but realising they’re outside their apartment building. “Nineteen right now, but twenty in March.”

As Lauren opens the door to help her out of the car, Camila’s gaze locks in on the bar across the street. “Can I go talk to Ashlee?”

Lauren follows her gaze. “You know someone over there?”

“She works at the bar, and I went there while I was avoiding you,” Camila announces, pointing at the bar for emphasis. “Because you scared me. And she told me I should talk to you, and I said I would, and that I’d tell her when I did. And I did, so I should tell her.”

“Wait,” Lauren frowns, steering Camila away from the bar and towards the door to the apartment building, which Ally is unlocking. “You were scared of me?”

“Yeah, because you were a new person,” Camila points out like it’s obvious. “I don’t really like new people. I only came today because I thought you wouldn’t like me if I said no. But then I had fun, so…”

“Well, I’m glad you had fun,” Lauren says, murmuring a quick goodbye to Ally as they head upstairs to their apartment. “But if you don’t like strangers, why’d you move in with one? Why not move in with your friends from college?”

“I don’t have any friends,” Camila says, shrugging, “I can’t move in with people that don’t exist. And- and I thought I could go back into the dorms, and just deal with the roommate situation there, because at least it would be another student, but that’s freshmen only. And I had no idea where I was going to go, then my mom saw your ad and made me go for it. I heard you when you came in on the first night, but I was scared of you, because I thought you wouldn’t like me. Nobody ever really likes me. Your friends probably pretended to.”

“Whoa, hey,” Lauren frowns at her, unlocking the door while she supports Camila with her other arm. “I like you. And my friends did too. When you went to the bathroom, Dinah said she liked you. And everyone else agreed.”

“What about your ex slash not-girlfriend?” Camila asks, tilting her head to the side. “Do I have to help the others get you back together? Because I don’t- I don’t believe in meddling in relationships, but you were kissing, so obviously you’re back together, right? I mean, I don’t really understand relationships in general, since I’ve never been in one, but that’s obvious when you have social anxiety.”

Lauren pauses, trying to take all of that in, and helps Camila over to the couch, before locking their door. “I feel like you’re not going to like that Drunk Camila told me that last part. And the thing with Lucy… it’s complicated. I mean, I love her, but we couldn’t work like that. We tried so hard, but… it just didn’t work. We work better as friends, but every time we’re alone, we end up sleeping together. So… I’m kind of glad you walked in and stopped it from happening last night.”

Camila frowns to herself. “You’re friends with benefits?”

“I guess, yeah,” Lauren shrugs and sits down next to her on the couch. “And that’s why I didn’t want you to mention anything to the girls. I know they want us to get back together, but… neither of us want that. And I don’t even know why I’m telling you this right now, because you don’t care.”

Camila hums. “Well, don’t date a fuckboy. That’s what they said. That you date fuckboys or hot girls.”

Lauren laughs a little. “Alright, let’s get you to bed.”

Camila frowns over at the clock. “It’s six. Can we get pizza? I love pizza.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Maybe it would be good to get something inside you to soak up all the vodka…. Okay, yeah. Pizza it is.”

Camila beams, and gets her phone, opening up the Dominos app and adding a pepperoni to her basket straight away. She passes the phone to Lauren, who frowns down at it, but adds the same, and passes it back to the other girl, who puts in their address, a discount code, and pays, before laying back on the couch.

“You picked cash, right?” Lauren asks, digging through her wallet for the money. “I can just give them it at the door…”

“No, I payed by card.” Camila murmurs, stretching. “I love pizza. I’m going to buy you a pizza because you’re pretty.”

Lauren stares at her in confusion. “You can’t just-”

“I can.” Camila says, opening her eyes and looking over at Lauren. “I mean, it’s true, you _are_ pretty.”

“Camila,” Lauren sends her a stern look. “Don’t think you can sweet-talk me into submission.”

Camila assesses her, before she laughs to herself. “I probably could, because you look like you’d be a bottom.”

Lauren chokes, staring at her in shock, before she shakes her head. “ _Psh_ , what, how did you even- I mean, obviously I’m not…”

“That was a joke, but your reaction pretty much proved that it’s true,” Camila laughs to herself. “Anyway, thank you for letting me meet your friends. It was nice, to spend time with people my own age for once.”

Lauren frowns at Camila, who rolls over and grabs the TV remote, and she feels a small pang of sadness when she realises how lonely Camila must be, a thousand miles away from her family, with no friends to keep her company. And Lauren knows a thing or two about loneliness.

She promises herself she’s going to be the best friend Camila Cabello ever had.

-

Camila has been avoiding Lauren for a week.

She can’t quite remember what she’d said when she was drunk, but she knows it’s bad, so naturally, she’s gone back to a combination of hiding in her room and staying out of the apartment as much as she can.

She decides to stay at college a little later than usual, to get a little extra rehearsal done, and naturally, that ruins her entire _avoid Lauren_ plan, because she bumps into Normani on the way to the studio she’d booked.

“Oh, hey, Camila,” Normani beams at her, “how are you?”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip, knowing that Normani will mention this little meeting to Lauren. “I’m okay. How are you?”

“I’m good,” Normani smiles, “Lo said you’ve been out of the apartment a lot. Or at least, you’re in when she’s not and you’re out when she’s in. She actually told me that if I run into you, I’m supposed to invite you out clubbing this weekend.”

Camila cringes. “Um… no thanks. I like you guys, but… I really hate the club.”

“I get that,” Normani answers, “Ally isn’t coming either, since she’s not too keen on it. We could all maybe go out during the day again? Talk to Lo about it, she’ll organise something.”

“Yeah, okay,” Camila answers, knowing she’s not going to do that, “sure.”

Normani studies her for a moment, and says, “you know, Lauren acts tough a lot of the time, but little things really get to her. Keep that in mind.”

It’s a little cryptic, but Camila knows what Normani is hinting at. Basically, _stop avoiding her, it’s making her sad._ “Okay, well, I’ve got a little studio time before I go home, so… I’ll see you, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Normani replies, smiling again, “see you later.”

Camila walks past Normani, trying to brush the interaction off as she locks herself in the little studio she’d booked and starts working on a few songs. She tries to ignore the green eyes that keep haunting her thoughts, because avoiding Lauren is the only way to deal with this.

Once she finishes working, she decides to head to the bar across the street before going home, ordering her coke and chicken strips, thankful that it’s Ashlee working.

“You look down,” Ashlee comments as Camila eats her food, “anything bothering you?”

Camila just shrugs, sighing. “Roommate issues.”

Ashlee looks concerned. “How about… I get off in twenty minutes. If you want, we can go to this other place for drinks and you can vent about it.”

Camila frowns a little. “You want to spend time with me?”

“Yeah,” Ashlee smiles at her, “it’s safe to say that by this point we’re friends. But I’m not staying here for drinks, because I hate staying here longer than I have to. I know another place a few blocks away that’s cheaper.”

“Okay,” Camila agrees, a little shocked at the whole _friends_ thing. “Sure. We can go for drinks.”

She nurses her coke until Ashlee disappears into a back room to grab her things and clock out, and then they leave the bar together, Camila following her a few blocks down to another place, feeling a little uncomfortable at the way Ashlee comfortably cuts through back alleys and places where any murderer could jump out.

(It gives Camila some honest-to-god Jack the Ripper vibes.)

Camila follows Ashlee into the bar, sitting down across from her in a booth and smiling a little awkwardly, before she grabs a drinks menu and looks through it, frowning. “I’m going to go get another coke.”

Ashlee smiles at her. “Alright. Are you sure you don’t want anything alcoholic, because I can get you something?”

“I’m sure,” Camila decides, not wanting to destroy this friendship before it starts with her drunken rambling. She heads over to the bar, and opens her mouth to order a coke, but when the bartender turns around, she realises she definitely shouldn’t have come here. “Lauren?”

Lauren blinks in surprise, before her face settles into an easy smile. “Oh. Hey. What’s up?”

“I was just… surprised…” Camila murmurs, remembering that Lauren had mentioned she worked at a bar _a few blocks away_. “I didn’t realise you worked here.”

There’s a flash of something in Lauren’s eyes, but she’s quick to plaster a smile back on. “Yeah, I thought I mentioned that I bartend. Um… anyway, yeah, what can I get for you?”

“Just coke,” Camila says, awkwardly rocking on her heels. “Have you been… working a lot this week?”

“Most nights, yeah,” Lauren says, getting a glass of coke for her. “So, um, do you want to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me?”

Camila tries to look shocked. “What? I’m not… I’m not avoiding you.”

Lauren raises her eyebrows and passes her the drink. “Look, if it’s about what you said when you were drunk, I kind of… figured you were a little anxious around people. But that’s okay. We’re roommates, we kind of have to be friends. Or at least civil. So if you don’t want anything to do with me, now’s your chance to say so.”

“It’s not that,” Camila quickly blurts out, because she kind of wants _everything_ to do with Lauren. “I’m just… embarrassed. That, you know, I told you I didn’t have friends or whatever. I _try_ , but it’s just… hard to open up. But you’re right, we’re roommates, so we have to be at least civil. So I’m sorry for avoiding you. I… I _do_ want to be friends.”

Finally, Lauren smiles. “Good. Do you want to come out this weekend?”

“Normani asked me. We ran into each other at school,” Camila shrugs, before she shakes her head. “I don’t… I don’t do clubs. Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Lauren answers, “we can do something else that’s more your thing some other time. Anyway, uh, why are you here? You’re not… like, drinking alone or anything, right?”

Camila blinks in surprise. “I just ordered a coke. I don’t think I can get drunk off that. And no, I’m here with… well, she’s a friend, actually. She bartends across the street from us and we’ve kind of hit it off.”

“Oh, nice,” Lauren smiles a little, “I’m happy for you. Anyway… if you want a little alcohol, I’ll get you some. Just ask.”

Camila finally laughs. “I’m not going to risk you getting fired. I’m going to… uh, go back over there now. Later.”

“Bye, Camila,” Lauren flashes her another charming smile, and Camila blushes a little, turning around and getting halfway to her table before she realises she’d left her drink on the bar, and she has to go back and retrieve it.

One she sits down across from Ashlee again, she feels like slamming her head on the table. “That’s my roommate. Bartending. I forgot she worked somewhere like this.”

“Oh,” Ashlee looks over at the bar with no subtlety, and Camila cringes, because Lauren is going to know they’re talking about her now. “Hey, she’s pretty hot. No wonder you were worried about catching feelings.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “She’s in a complicated situation with her ex. I don’t want to get involved with something like that. And, I mean, she’d never like me back.”

Ashlee laughs. “Want me to go pimp you out? Talk about how cool you are or something?”

“Please, no,” Camila shakes her head, sighing. “I just want to be her friend. Thinking about kissing her… not that I _think_ about that, obviously – but it’s just… it makes me nervous.”

“Yeah, sure, obviously you don’t think about that.” Ashlee says, and it’s a little too sarcastic for Camila’s liking. “I’m not saying to go ask her out or anything. But if _she_ were to ask _you_ out… how would you feel about that?”

Camila knows she’d be absolutely overjoyed, but _also_ incredibly nervous. She knows it’d freak her out to go out with Lauren, to go out with _anyone_ , because even the thought of that makes her want to throw up. Platonic social situations scare her enough, let alone romantic ones where her every move is being scrutinised and judged.

She stays with Ashlee for a few hours, trying to keep the conversation light and _not_ on the girl at the bar not ten feet away from them, and when Ashlee finally announces that she needs to head home, Camila makes the dumbest decision of her entire life.

Once she’s said goodbye to Ashlee, she goes back over to the bar again and sits across from Lauren, murmuring a small, “hi.”

“Hey,” Lauren smiles at her, reaching for another glass, “another drink?”

“No,” Camila shakes her head, biting down on her bottom lip, “I was wondering… well, what time do you get off work?”

Lauren frowns in confusion, but answers. “Ten thirty. Why?”

“Well, um, when I walked here,” Camila starts, looking down at her feet, “We went through a lot of creepy back alleys, and I don’t… I don’t like the idea of you walking down those in the dark, by yourself. So… can I wait with you? And we can walk home together?”

Lauren smiles. “That’s so sweet. As long as you’re sure you want to wait, that’s fine.”

“Yeah,” Camila murmurs, “but, uh, can I order food here? Because I’m kind of starving.”

Lauren gets her a burger, on the house, even though Camila complains and tries to pay. Once she’s eaten, Camila elects to play on her phone while she waits for Lauren to finish, but thankfully, since it’s pretty dead tonight, Lauren gets off at ten instead of half past, and they set off walking together.

“Can you- um,” Camila starts when they’re halfway home. “Can you tell me your work rota? So I can… meet you. And walk you home.”

Lauren smiles at her. “You really don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t like the idea of you walking around these creepy fucking Jack the Ripper alleyways.” Camila frowns, grabbing onto Lauren’s arm in fright when she hears something scuttling behind a trash can, but letting go in embarrassment when it’s just a rat. “So just… please give me your rota.”

After a few moments of thought, Lauren nods. “Alright. I’ll give you my rota.”

Deciding to extend another olive branch, Camila bites down on her bottom lip and announces, “So, you’re from Miami.”

“Yeah,” Lauren answers, tensing up a little, “I am.”

“Um, yeah,” Camila nods, cringing at her own awkwardness. “Are you… are you going back there for Thanksgiving? I know a lot of people wait until Christmas, since they’re so close and flights are expensive, but I‘m going for both, because I already miss my family like crazy. So, um, I was wondering… maybe we could get the same flights there.”

Lauren smiles, but it’s a little sad. “I’m not going back for either. But it’s sweet of you to ask.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “But… if you’re not going back, what are you going to do for Thanksgiving? And- and _Christmas?”_

“Spend it here,” Lauren shrugs, “I can make myself a decent Thanksgiving dinner. Either that or I can work…”

“Wait, but,” Camila frowns at her, completely bewildered by this. “You can’t spend Christmas and Thanksgiving _alone_. Why don’t you go home and see your family?”

Lauren just shakes her head and bites down on her bottom lip. “Can we talk about something else?”

Camila just frowns. “Okay.”

“So, um, how’s school,” Lauren asks, trying to put on a bright and happy demeanour as they walk towards their apartment building. “Any homework assignments you need to work on?”

“Not really, I’ve done most of my work,” Camila answers, still unable to comprehend how Lauren is planning on spending both Christmas and Thanksgiving by herself. “You?”

“No, it’s…” Lauren shrugs, “it’s fine.”

She trails off into an awkward silence as she unlocks the door to their apartment building, holding it open for Camila, before locking it behind her. Camila just frowns, following Lauren up the stairs and waiting for her to unlock the apartment door, before the older girl closes it behind her, lets out a long sigh, and murmurs a quiet _goodnight._

When Lauren disappears into her bedroom, Camila ignores the way the tears sting at her eyes and the anxiety builds in her chest, and she tries to reassure herself that it’s fine, that Lauren is just tired, that she hadn’t done something wrong.

But then, that little voice in the back of her head reminds her that _Camila, you always do everything wrong,_ and she can’t help but agree.

She walks towards the kitchen and runs a hand through her hair, deciding to make some cocoa, because that always makes her feel better when she’s like this, when the anxiety is weighing on her chest and making her feel sick. She gets two mugs out, and makes one for Lauren as well, hoping that might fix things.

She knocks on Lauren’s door, trying to reel in her worries, and when Lauren answers, looking dishevelled and tired, Camila feels even worse.

“Um, I made…” Camila holds out the mug. “I made you some cocoa. Because you- you looked sad.”

Lauren looks pleasantly surprised, and actually smiles at her. “Oh, thank you.”

When Lauren takes the mug, Camila uses that opportunity to peer around Lauren and look at her bedroom. It’s impeccably tidy, unlike Camila’s actual mess of a bedroom, and she has a large bookcase full of worn titles pushed against a wall. Her bed is made, a stuffed lion rested on one of the pillows, and there are a few concert tickets stuck to the baby blue walls. It’s so _Lauren_ that Camila can’t possibly imagine any other kind of bedroom.

Camila realises she’d been staring, and she jumps a little, nodding towards the kitchen. “Okay, I’m just going to go, um, yeah…”

Lauren stops her before she can run away. “Thanks for the cocoa. It’s really good.”

Camila smiles. “you’re welcome. I’ll, um… see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Lauren answers, “sleep well, Camz.”

When Lauren closes her bedroom door, Camila freezes in shock. _Camz_. Lauren had called her _Camz_.

She stays up half the night, wondering if that means something or not.

-

**_ October _ **

_“Have you booked your flights for thanksgiving yet?”_

“No, mami, not yet,” Camila groans into the laptop’s webcam. “I’m still looking for the best day to come.”

 _“If you don’t hurry up, I’ll book it for you,”_ Sinu replies, and Camila knows she’s completely serious. _“Anyway, how is your roommate? Is she being nice to you?”_

“Yeah,” Camila smiles a little at the mention of Lauren. Even though Lauren hadn’t really been in the apartment much lately, Camila walks her home from work on the nights she works late, and Lauren had taken to leaving her a turkey sandwich on the counter with a cute little note on the days she knows Camila has a lot of classes. “She’s being really nice.”

 _“Good,”_ Sinu smiles, “ _are you two friends?”_

“Yeah.” Camila says again, because she thinks she can say that now. “We’re friends. I’m a little… worried about her, though. She told me she’s staying here for Thanksgiving and Christmas. By herself. And I just… I know I’d hate that…”

Sinu shrugs. “ _She’s welcome to come here. We always have enough leftovers to feed us for weeks. I won’t even have to make any extra.”_

Camila considers this, humming in thought. “I’ll ask her. But… even Christmas? She could stay for that?”

“ _Mhm,”_ Sinu nods, “ _if she’s a good friend to you and she has nowhere else to go, she’s welcome.”_

Camila grins. “Thanks, mami. I’ll let her know. Anyway, I’ve got to go, I need to work on a few songs. I love you.”

 _“I love you too, mija,”_ Sinu smiles through the computer screen, before the video cuts out and Camila closes her laptop.

 She wonders if Lauren would say yes to coming over for Thanksgiving and Christmas. She knows that Lauren would rather spend time with one of the girls, and she doesn’t understand why they’d let her spend the holidays alone in New York while they’re all spending time with family.

She wants to ask Lauren _why_ she won’t see her family, but she knows it’s a sensitive topic, judging by the way Lauren had reacted last time it was brought up, and she knows their friendship is still in in its infancy.

There’s still that little spark of curiosity, but Camila is trying to extinguish it.

When she hears the front door open and close, Camila smiles, completely ignoring the song she planned on working on and heading out to see Lauren, walking towards the kitchen counter with some groceries.

“Hey.” Camila greets her, and Lauren turns around, flashing her a smile. “You could’ve texted and told me you were getting groceries. I would’ve joined you.”

Lauren just shrugs. “I was only getting a few things. How was your day?”

“It was fine,” Camila shrugs, because nothing special had happened. “I had class this morning, and I just got off Skype with my mom.”

Lauren smiles. “Cute. Do you want a sandwich?”

“You don’t have to make me anything, you’ve made me enough turkey sandwiches,” Camila brushes her off, deciding to segue into the holiday thing, “but speaking of turkey, I was actually talking to my mom about Thanksgiving. And… well, I mentioned that you were staying here.”

Lauren seems to bristle. “You did?”

“Yeah,” Camila frowns a little, not liking the reaction so far. “She said that you’re welcome to join us if you’d like. Same with Christmas. You wouldn’t be intruding or anything, I literally didn’t even have to ask.”

Lauren turns around, surprised. “I’m allowed to come to yours?”

“Yeah,” Camila confirms, shrugging, “she said it’s cool. And it was her idea.”

“Oh,” Lauren pauses in thought, “you’re sure it’s okay?”

Camila is positively over the moon that she’s even considering it. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

After a few moments of clear debate, Lauren gives her a slight nod. “Alright… yeah. I’ll- I’ll come with you.”

“For both?” Camila asks, needing to know so she can text her mom. “Thanksgiving and Christmas?”

“Yeah,” Lauren nods, “as long as it’s okay.”

Camila grins, and she _really_ wants to hug Lauren, but she’s not at all sure if she’s comfortable or if they’re on that level of friendship yet. “It’s okay, trust me.”

Lauren puts a few groceries away, but turns around again. “Can you tell me which flight you’ve booked? Just so I can make sure I’m on the same one.”

At that, Camila smiles a little sheepishly. “I actually haven’t booked one yet. I’ve been… procrastinating.”

“The longer you leave it, the more expensive they get.” Lauren points out, and Camila laughs a little, because that’s pretty much the same thing Sinu keeps texting her every day. Once Lauren has put the last of the groceries away, she nods over to the couch. “Come on, let’s book the flights now.”

Camila nods, and gets her laptop from her room, coordinating her schedule with Lauren’s. Once they’ve booked the flights, and Camila texts her mom to tell that Lauren is definitely joining them, the younger Latina sends Lauren a shy smile. “Since we’re suddenly holiday buddies… what’re you doing for Halloween?”

Lauren laughs, but shrugs. “I was thinking about inviting the girls over for a movie night and sleepover if you’d be down for that.”

Movie nights are way more Camila’s thing than clubbing, so she nods. “Yeah. That’d be cool.”

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Camila scrolling through Tumblr on her laptop, Lauren speaks again.

“You don’t really stutter anymore,” Lauren comments, looking over at her. “It’s like… it’s like you’re comfortable around me now.”

Camila smiles a little, the thought making her nervous. “I guess I am. We’ve been living together for like, a month and a half. It’s safe to say I’m used to you. I mean… we’re friends, right?”

“Yeah. We’re friends.” Lauren answers, and Camila smiles at the confirmation. “I’m really glad you moved in with me, Camz.”

Camila blushes, looking down at her feet. “I like that. Camz, I mean. Everyone else just calls me Mila if they want to give me a nickname.”

Lauren just hums in reply, looking her over. She smiles softly. “You’re really beautiful, Camila. Truly. Inside and out.”

Camila blinks in surprise, not sure where that compliment had come from, but appreciating it all the same. “Thank you. You’re really beautiful too, Lauren.”

Lauren smiles, before she stretches and nods over at the TV. “Want to watch a movie?”

“Sure,” Camila replies, her face sinking into a frown when Lauren gets up and walks over to her bedroom. “Wait, you did mean watch the movie _with you_ , right? Like, you weren’t speaking generally…?”

Lauren laughs, shaking her head. “I’m just going to get in my pyjamas. Figured I should get on your level of comfy right now.”

Camila looks down at her sweatpants with a small laugh. “Alright. Which movie are we watching?”

“Your choice,” Lauren shrugs, “I have Netflix and it’s logged in on the TV, so just… pick whatever you want.”

Camila looks over at the TV. “I don’t really know how to work Netflix.”

Lauren frowns at her. “You’ve been living here for almost two months and you haven’t figured it out?”

“I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to use it,” Camila admits, a little embarrassed. “You’re the one who’s paying for the account, you know?”

“Yeah, but you live here, so it’s fine,” Lauren shrugs, passing her the remote. “It’s easy to work out. I’ll be right back.”

Camila watches as Lauren heads into her bedroom, her gaze not-so-subtly falling on Lauren’s ass as she walks away, but she’s quick to catch herself and look away again. She can’t do that. She knows that Lauren is attractive, and while dating her would be… more than enjoyable, Lauren would never like her back, and Camila would never tell her in the first place.

She figures out how to work Lauren’s Netflix, pausing to _aw_ at how there’s a profile for Lauren’s abuela, before she looks through for a movie, or maybe a show they could watch together.

She’s still scrolling when Lauren comes out of her bedroom in sweats and a t-shirt, her arms wrapped around her stuffed lion, and her hair tied up in a messy bun. “Decided on anything?”

Camila just stares at her, blinking in surprise. “Of _course_ you can pull off the messy bun look. I look like a cafeteria lady when I do it.”

Lauren just laughs and heads into the kitchen, getting herself a glass of water. “Want a drink?”

Camia turns back to Netflix with a nod. “Yeah, just water, please.”

Lauren comes back with two glasses of water, passing one to Camila and leaning forwards to put her own glass on the coffee table, and _that’s_ when Camila notices it. The neck tattoo.

Even though Camila has never exactly been intimate with anybody, she knows she’d love kissing a girl’s neck, leaving her mark there, so everyone would know the other person is _hers_ , no question about it. And she _definitely_ has a thing for tattoos. She looks at the intricate dragonfly on the back of Lauren’s neck, and wants to trace over the fine black lines, to know the meaning behind it, to know everything that happens in Lauren’s beautiful mind.

But, of course, she’d never say any of that. Instead, she awkwardly blurts out, “tattoo!”, scared that Lauren had somehow read the less than savoury thoughts going through Camila’s mind.

Lauren looks up, blinking in surprise, but laughs. Reaching a hand to her nape of her neck and tracing over the tattoo, she nods. “Yeah, this was the first one I ever got. Do you have any?”

“No,” Camila shakes her head, knowing her mom would kill her. “My parents would ground me for life. I can’t believe yours were okay with it. I can never comprehend when parents are fine with their kids getting tattoos and piercings. Like, your nose ring… if I even _mentioned_ the idea of that to my mom, she’d tell me I’m never allowed to leave the house again.”

“Um, yeah,” Lauren shifts a little uncomfortably. “Well, my parents didn’t really… have much of a say. At the end of the day it’s my body, right?”

Camila hums. “How many do you have?”

“Five at the moment,” Lauren tells her, shrugging, “but I’m, uh, getting another soon.”

“Show them to me,” Camila practically demands, before she blushes and murmurs, “you know, as long as it’s appropriate. If you’ve got one on your asscheek, you can… refrain from showing me that.”

Lauren laughs. “Yeah, I totally have a full-scale portrait of Mani’s face there. You know, Lucy actually has a tattoo on her-”

“Do I want to know?” Camila cuts in, shutting her eyes, because she doesn’t want to think about Lauren fucking someone that isn’t her. “If it’s somewhere inappropriate.”

“It’s not a secret, though.” Lauren laughs. “She has pictures on her Instagram.”

Camila just shakes her head, ignoring Lauren’s devious cackle. “Oh my god, just show me your PG-13 tattoos.”

“Fine,” Lauren laughs, rolling her eyes, “the first one I got was the dragonfly, like I said. Then I got this.”

Lauren holds out her arm, and without thinking, Camila runs her fingers over the roman numerals, XXVII. “Twenty-seven?”

“Mhm,” Lauren nods, but doesn’t elaborate. “Then I got this. It’s my grandmother’s name. My dragonfly is actually for my other grandmother, but I was always closer with…”

As Lauren trails off, Camila studies the name. “Did she like it?”

“Yeah, actually,” Lauren laughs, but it’s a little weak, “I got it when… when she was diagnosed. With cancer.”

“Oh,” Camila’s throat closes over; she hadn’t realised that any of her tattoos could be a sensitive subject for Lauren, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… to bring up a sore subject.”

“It’s okay,” Lauren murmurs, turning her arm over and showing the next tattoo. A date. “I didn’t get this one next. I got this bee after my grandmother’s name. But… I got this a few days after… after she died. This was the last day I saw her. I got it to remind me of the things she’s said to me. The things we promised each other.”

Camila watches Lauren carefully, trying to conceal just how happy she is that Lauren had opened up to her about something. “What’s… what’s the new one going to be?”

“I’m getting it on my back,” Lauren says, touching a finger down the top of Camila’s spine and tracing down. “Down here. _I am that I am.”_

Camila shivers at Lauren’s touch. “Why- why that? Specifically?”

“I mean… this is something I’m still learning, but,” Lauren sighs, “I need a reminder sometimes that it’s only really _my_ opinions on me that matter. Even if it seems like it doesn’t sometimes. Even if I want to change myself to please someone else. I need a reminder that at the end of the day, this is who I am, and I need to live my truth and be happy in it.”

“I like that,” Camila murmurs, looking up and meeting Lauren’s gaze. “I just… really love the way you think.”

Lauren sends her a soft smile. “Thank you, Camila. It means a lot.”

With that, Lauren turns back to the TV, and Camila smiles in content, before it hits her that the mellow feeling in her tummy and the way she feels so calm isn’t a good sign.

 _Because you like her, you fucking idiot,_ that little voice in the back of her mind points out, _of course you’ve gone and gotten a crush on someone who would never like you back._

She pushes that thought to the back of her mind, knowing that she’s never going to do anything about it; if she did, it’d make living with Lauren painfully awkward, and she’s so much less lonely now.

 _I’m going to ignore it_ , Camila decides, _for the sake of our friendship._

_-_

Ignoring it is way harder than she thought.

Especially when the girls come over for Halloween, and it’s like they’ve hatched a plan to push Lauren and Lucy together. Camila hates herself for being so jealous, because she likes Lucy, and she knows that she’d be good to Lauren, but _she_ wants to be the one their friends are pushing Lauren towards.

Naturally, when Dinah loudly announces that they need to go to the store in the middle of the horror movie they’re watching – which had given Camila the perfect excuse to cuddle up to Lauren in _fear_ – Camila gets upset.

Dinah grabs her by the hand and pulls her up, before nodding to Normani and Ally and practically forcing them all out of the apartment. Lauren’s voice echoes in her head, saying _every time we’re alone, we end up sleeping together_ , and Camila tries to go back inside.

“No, I don’t want to go to the store, I’m in my sweats,” Camila insists as Dinah tugs her down the stairs. “I’m serious, Dinah, I want to go back up.”

Normani laughs. “Mila, you realise we’re trying to get Lo and Lucy alone, right?”

 _Yes_ , Camila had realised that, and that’s exactly why she wants to go back upstairs. But, she plays dumb. “What?”

“Yeah,” Dinah laughs, “we’re thinking if we get them alone, something is bound to happen.”

Camila just sighs, and lets them drag her to the local store, wandering around the aisles and wishing she was back home. She doesn’t even care about being a cockblock, she just doesn’t like the idea of someone else touching Lauren.

She’s pretending to look through the popcorn when Dinah nudges her. “Are you okay?”

Camila looks up in surprise, not expecting Dinah to be there. “Oh, um, hey. Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine,” Dinah points out, and Camila just shrugs in response. “Seriously, what’s wrong? You can talk to me, you know.”

Camila just shrugs. “I just didn’t want to come outside.”

Dinah studies her for a moment. “I thought you were in on us getting Laucy back together?”

“It’s not about that,” Camila replies, a little too quickly. “I was just… comfy.”

Dinah’s eyes narrow in thought, but then, like something hits her, they widen and she steps back a little. “Oh my god.”

Camila just sighs. “What?”

“You like her!” Dinah announces to the entire state. “Oh my god, that’s why you didn’t want to leave! Because you didn’t want Lauren alone with Lucy in case something happened.”

Camila snorts, shaking her head and trying to deny it. “No, obviously not, I don’t care if Lauren wants to… to do things with Lucy. I don’t. She’s just my friend.”

“Well, that just confirms it,” Dinah laughs, rolling her eyes. “Why did you say anything?”

Camila sighs. “Because it’s not important. Besides, you guys are trying to get her back with Lucy and they’re your friends. I’m just Lauren’s weird roommate.”

Dinah frowns at her. “You’re my friend. I’m not denying that you’re not Lauren’s weird roommate, but you’re still my friend.”

Camila laughs a little, but shakes her head. “You’ve been friends with Lauren and Lucy for longer. It’s understandable that you want to see your friends together.”

“Did I _not_ just say that you’re my friend too?” Dinah rolls her eyes. “Come on, let’s go back up to the apartment. I’ll help you with Lauren.”

“I’m not doing anything about it.” Camila quickly dismisses her. “She’d never like me back.”

“Uh, I’ve known her longer than you have,” Dinah points out, “besides, I think she likes you a lot, _Camz_.”

Camila blushes, but rolls her eyes. “Oh, shut up. That’s just a nickname, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Sure it doesn’t,” Dinah laughs disbelievingly. “Look, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Lauren doesn’t invite just anyone to come and hang out with us. While she’s friendly to everyone, she doesn’t really make _friends_ that often, so her spending so much time with you is a big thing. It’s honestly kind of cute.”

Camila just shrugs. “It’s not a big deal. We live together, so we kind of _have_ to be friends. If I said anything it’d just make things awkward between us and I don’t want that. Lauren’s… kind of the first real friend I’ve ever had.”

“Damn, what am I, chopped liver?” Dinah rolls her eyes. “Lo would date you. You’re totally her type.”

Camila raises her eyebrows. “A fuckboy?”

“No, idiot,” Dinah snorts, “a hot Latina. I thought I told you, Laur’s taste in women is pretty fucking impeccable. It’s just the men that suck.”

As Dinah drags her back up to the apartment building and essentially just bursts straight through the front door, Camila braces herself for the worst, but thankfully, Lauren is still in the same position on the couch, only her eyes are closed, and her arms are wrapped tightly around her stuffed Nala. Lucy, on the other hand, is laid out in a bean bag, shovelling mouthfuls of popcorn into her mouth as the movie plays.

“Hey, we paused that,” Dinah points out, nudging Camila as if to say _look, nothing happened_. “As in we’re all supposed to be watching it together.”

“Lo fell asleep,” Lucy rolls her eyes, “What do you expect me to do? Sit here and wait for you idiots until you’d decided you’d given us enough time to hook up?”

Camila feels uncomfortable at the idea of _hooking up_ , and she isn’t sure if it’s a _good thing_ or not that Lucy is aware of their friends’ plan. “That’s not what we were doing.”

“Maybe not you, Mila,” Lucy agrees with her, “but Dinah and Mani have this whole idea that they’re going to captain the Laucy ship out into the open seas, but it’s not going to happen. Been there, done that. Besides, I’m seeing someone, so…”

“Wait, _what?”_ Dinah blurts out, before she leaves Camila’s side and flops down on the bean bag next to Lucy. “You’re seeing someone and you didn’t _tell_ me?”

“Because it’s not serious, duh,” Lucy snorts, “I’ve been on like, one date with her.”

“At least tell me her name,” Dinah begs, and Camila carefully sits down on the couch next to Lauren, not wanting to wake her. “Please?”

“Fine,” Lucy relents. “Her name is Veronica. But she goes by Vero. Don’t stalk her.”

Dinah shoots Camila another look, as if to say _Lauren’s all yours_ , but Camila ignores it, knowing that Lauren would never date her.

When Normani and Ally come back, and everyone seems to badger Lucy about this new girl she’s seeing, Camila just watches Lauren as she snuggles her Nala, sleeping peacefully on the couch. They start a new movie, and ten minutes in, Lauren’s eyes flutter open, and she looks around, confused, as if she’d forgotten her friends were over.

Finally, Lauren’s gaze meets Camila’s, and she sends her a tired smile, before she shuffles up close to her, closes her eyes again, and is asleep in seconds. Dinah looks over, smirking at her, and Camila just rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

Since Dinah and Normani practically claim Lauren’s bed for the night, and Ally is sleeping in her own apartment downstairs, Lucy taking the pull out on the couch, Camila decides she’s going to have to search through her closet for a sleeping bag. She knows that Sofi left one; her little sister is pretty adamant about coming up to New York at one point for a sleepover.

(Not that Camila would ever let Sofi sleep on the floor by herself.)

She nudges Lauren gently. “Hey, wake up.”

Lauren blinks in surprise, yawning. “What time is it?”

“One,” Camila tells her, standing up and stretching. “Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but Dinah and Normani stole your bed.”

“Oh,” Lauren rubs at her eyes and frowns again. “I guess I could just stay here.”

“Lucy’s taking the couch,” Camila informs her, holding out a hand and helping Lauren up. “You’re taking my bed. I have a sleeping bag somewhere that I’ll be fine in for one night.”

“Camila,” Lauren tiredly argues, “I’m not going to kick you out of your bed.”

“It’s not kicking me out if I’m offering.” Camila points out, laughing a little. “Come on, you’re exhausted.”

Camila leads Lauren into the bathroom, and as they brush their teeth together, she can’t help but feel like it’s all very domestic. But she pushes that thought from her mind, because it’s not like Lauren would ever like her back.

Lauren rubs at her eyes and lets Camila lead her into her bedroom. She blinks, yawning again, and murmurs, “I’ve never been in your room before. Not while it’s been _your room_.”

“Well, sorry about the mess,” Camila laughs, pulling back her bedsheets and sitting Lauren down. “Go to sleep.”

Lauren yawns in response, staring down at her sweatpants, before she kicks them off and bundles under the covers of Camila’s bed. “I don’t want you to sleep on the floor.”

Camila just smiles. “I’ll be okay for one night.”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, and grabs Camila’s hand, pulling her down on the bed. “We can share. I don’t have cooties.”

Camila blushes, thankful that her bed is a double, so they’ll have enough space. “Alright then. As long as you’re comfortable with that.”

“I mean,” Lauren lets out a raspy laugh. “It’s not like we haven’t been cuddling all night.”

Camila’s blush deepens, and she rolls over, looking up at the ceiling. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

Lauren takes her hand under the covers and gives it a soft squeeze, and Camila feels her stomach flip twenty times over. “Night, Camz.”

Camila gives Lauren’s hand a shaky squeeze back. “Goodnight, Lo.”

-

**_ November _ **

“Do you want to go to lunch?”

Camila looks up in surprise, meeting Lauren’s gaze over the textbook on political history she’s taking notes from. “Are you talking to me?”

“You’re the only other person in the room,” Lauren teases her, putting her textbook down and shutting it. “I need a break from studying and I thought maybe you’d like to go and grab some lunch with me. It’s no pressure if you’re busy.”

Camila looks down at herself, in her sweats and watching Netflix, and blushes. “Do I look like I’m busy?”

“Point taken,” Lauren laughs, standing up and stretching. She walks over from the kitchen table, where all of her books are spread out, and flops down next to Camila on the couch. “You know, normally I’d study in the library, but I guess it’s less acceptable to wear my sweatpants there.”

“Duh,” Camila laughs, “studying at home is the obviously superior choice. Though, I think I might complain. This apartment isn’t what was advertised. I _swear_ I was promised a certain roommate of mine would be out of the house all the time.”

“Oh, shut up,” Lauren rolls her eyes. “Maybe next time I _will_ go to the library. Screw staying here to keep your annoying ass company.”

“Wait,” Camila pauses, smiling a little. “You stayed home to keep me company?”

“I- yeah,” Lauren admits, and Camila swears she sees the older girl blushing, “Is that- do you not want me to?”

“No, it’s… it’s nice, honestly,” Camila comments, her stomach fluttering. “Being in someone’s presence but not having to talk to them. Just both of you doing your own thing. That’s the kind of low-maintenance hang out I love, considering I’m the biggest introvert on planet earth.”

“Yeah,” Lauren hums, “I definitely got that vibe from you when we met. But anyway. Lunch?”

“Sure,” Camila nods, stretching, “where?”

“I know a cute little sandwich shop not too far away,” Lauren says, nodding over to her bedroom. “I’m just going to go and change before we head out.”

“Same,” Camila stands up, heading for her bedroom. She quickly changes into a pair of jeans and one of her more presentable hoodies, and waits on the couch for Lauren, who isn’t too long after her. “So, is there any reason for this impromptu lunch outing?”

Admittedly, the answer Camila _wants_ to hear is something along the lines of _yeah, I actually just realised that I’m in love with you and you’re my soulmate and I want to take you out on a date_.

The actual answer is a lot more generic and lacklustre. “I’m hungry, that’s why. And I don’t want to make myself anything. And maybe I wanted to hang out with you.”

“Oh,” Camila laughs a little, “well, thanks for inviting me.”

“Don’t thank me for that,” Lauren looks at her, sending her a soft smile. “I like spending time with you.”

Camila feels her stomach flutter, and she bites down on her bottom lip. “I like spending time with you, too.”

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Lauren coughs and grabs her keys. “Come on. Lunchtime. I can’t absorb information efficiently without a decent lunch inside me.”

Camila smiles, tugging on her coat and following Lauren downstairs and out into the street. It’s busy and bustling, lots of people on their breaks, and Camila hadn’t entirely thought through that they’d be out during the lunch rush.

Lauren seems to sense how uncomfortable she is, because she takes Camila’s hand when they’re halfway down the street, and doesn’t let go until they’re inside the sandwich shop. Fortunately, it’s quiet, and while it’s not normally a good sign, Camila appreciates it.

“This is kind of like, a hidden gem,” Lauren tells her, leading her over to a small booth in the back corner. “I guess a lot of people prefer chain restaurants, and this place doesn’t really look like much from the outside, so…”

Camila shrugs her coat off and picks up a little menu, scanning the list of food. “How’d you find this place?”

“I was really stressed one day, because my college schedule was hectic, and my manager asked me to fill in for someone at work,” Lauren says, “I was tired and hadn’t eaten all day, so I just ran into the nearest and quietest place on the way to work.”

Camila just frowns, concerned. “You don’t overwork yourself, do you? Like, I know you have your job and everything, and you’re really grade conscious, but you don’t let it… like, consume your life. Right?”

“I mean… finals can get kind of wild,” Lauren blushes, looking a little abashed, “but I try not to get too obsessed. And to get a decent night’s sleep in the run up to exams, because that’s just as important as studying. There’d be nothing worse than crashing in the exam. I guess sometimes I worry because I’ve got to get good grades to keep my scholarship, but…”

“You have a scholarship?” Camila asks, and Lauren nods. “Academic?”

“Mhm,” Lauren nods, smiling proudly, “and I was my high school’s valedictorian.”

“Damn. I knew you were smart, but I didn’t know you were _that_ smart,” Camila comments, nudging Lauren under the table with her foot, “I bet your parents totally brag about you to their friends, right?”

Lauren’s smile drops and she bites down on her bottom lip, shrugging. “They did. When I graduated. Have you decided what you want to eat?”

Camila nods, picking out the grilled cheese, and Lauren nods, going up to the counter to order for the both of them. Once she’s done, she sits back down, and Camila holds out some cash. “Take it or I’ll shove it down your throat.”

“That’d be an aggressive measure to take, but fine,” Lauren takes the cash and pockets it. “Anyway, you must be pretty amazing, getting into Juilliard. Don’t they only take like twenty people a semester?”

“Well, I mean,” Camila blushes, shrugging, “yeah. But… I almost turned it down, actually. I- you can tell that I have a lot of anxiety, and even the thought of being a thousand miles away from home made me panic. And I’d been accepted to the University of Miami, so I was considering staying home and attending college there, but I’d never have forgiven myself for turning it down. Freshman year was hard, though. Not only was I away from my family, I didn’t make any friends, and that made me feel even more isolated than I already did. I was dreading coming back for this year, partially because I had nowhere to live, but also because I’d pretty much given up on making friends. In the time it took for me to get comfortable, people had already grouped off and wouldn’t want to accept an outsider. _Then_ when I found out I was moving in with you, at that point a stranger, I was like _oh god, what if she stabs me_ , but also like _oh god, what if she thinks I’m weird and kicks me out.”_

“Well…” Lauren pauses to smirk at her, “I haven’t kicked you out.”

Camila rolls her eyes at the underlying implications. “Way to kill the mood. I’m pouring my soul out here.”

Lauren just smiles. “Alright, keep going, I’ll be serious.”

“Well, yeah, I was fucking terrified to move in with a potentially mean and stabby stranger.” Camila continues, ignoring Lauren’s small chuckle. “That’s why I hid from you that first night, and avoided you a lot.”

Lauren blinks in surprise. “In case I stabbed you?”

“No, oh my god,” Camila laughs, “in case you were mean. Or, I don’t know, not patient or whatever. Because I’ve always been shy, and because it takes me so long to settle, a lot of people assume I don’t like them and stop trying, and that sucks a lot, when I’m just starting to get comfortable and then they drop me. And when I met you, I was like _dammit, I’m not going to get comfortable around her_.”

“But you have,” Lauren observes, “haven’t you? Because if you’re not, tell me what I need to do to make it easier.”

“No, no, I am,” Camila is quick to assure her, “and it’s because you’re _you_ that I’m so comfortable, because you’ve been nothing but respectful and sweet and patient and it’s so foreign to me.”

Lauren hums, beaming when a worker comes over and gives them their food. “You just said that when you met me, you thought you wouldn’t settle.”

“Oh,” Camila blushes a little, occupying herself with biting into her food. “That’s mostly just because you’re like, intimidatingly pretty. And the tattoos and the nose ring make you seem like some badass biker or something.”

Lauren chokes on her water. “Oh my god. A _biker_? Really?”

Camila laughs. “First thing that came to mind.”

“The only time I’ve ever tried to ride a motorcycle was with my ex-boyfriend, and couldn’t even handle two seconds,” Lauren tells her, snorting. “A _biker_. Wow. I mean, I thought you were pretty too, when we met, but a _biker_? Really?”

“Shut up,” Camila rolls her eyes, her brain going haywire, yelling _oh my god she thinks I’m pretty_. “What I mean is, you were intimidating. It’s like- it’s like the this crush I have; the girl is so intimidating but so gorgeous that my brain naturally wouldn’t work around her.”

“You have a crush on someone?” Lauren asks, and after a few moments of hesitation, she plasters on a teasing grin. “Do give the details, little Camz.”

“Your mockery aside,” Camila says, ignoring the subject and rolling her eyes, “I’m glad I moved in with you. Especially since I found the place on the _internet_. I think I’m actually just realising you could’ve been a murderer. Or at least a shitty roommate. Damn, I really lucked out.”

Lauren smirks. “How do you know I’m _not_ a murderer? I could be one, and I just like you too much to kill you.”

Camila gives her a light kick to the shin under the table. “Wow, I call you a good roommate and you just keep making fun of me. Nice.”

“I’m your friend,” Lauren shrugs, smiling at her. “I have to make fun of you. That’s like, the rule. But- uh… you’re really glad you moved in with me?”

“Duh,” Camila laughs, “I think on the roommate scale you’re a strong 100/10.”

“Good, because, uh,” Lauren lets out an awkward laugh, “I was thinking about next year, because I was going to stay in the same place, and it’d save you moving your things out… would you want to like, renew the lease? Together?”

“Wait, as in…” Camila frowns, “like, stay living with you next year, too?”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, but nods. “Yeah.”

Camila takes one look at Lauren, and sees the hopefulness shining in those entrancing green eyes, and she knows her answer.

“Yeah, Laur. I’d really love that.”

-

“I have a weird thing about planes.”

Camila blinks in surprise and turns around, smiling at a sleepy Lauren. “A _thing_?”

“Yeah, I don’t know, it’s like…” Lauren sighs, shrugging, “if anything went wrong, that’s it. We’re dead. And I always seem to be flying towards a certain doom. I never have a good reason to get on a plane.”

“Well, thanks for considering Thanksgiving with me as a _certain doom_ ,” Camila laughs, and Lauren just chuckles shaking her head. “And here I thought we were going to have a good time.”

“We are, we are,” Lauren assures her, “it’s just… last time I was on a plane, it wasn’t for anything good.”

Camila tilts her head to the side. “Care to elaborate?”

“Not really,” Lauren answers, and Camila respects that and doesn’t push the topic. “So, um, do you guys have any family traditions for the holidays?”

“We have a couple on Christmas, but not so much when it comes to Thanksgiving.” Camila replies, thinking about it. “I mean, if you count me eating twice my body weight every year as a tradition, then yeah.”

Lauren laughs. “No, I mean, like… cute things.”

“Christmas is where the cute traditions are,” Camila replies, “it’s mostly just… me spending time with my sister. Living the Christmas magic through her. She’s still a big Santa believer and I want to keep it that way, though at this point, every year seems like it could be the last, since she’s nine now.”

Lauren smiles, but it’s a little sad and dull around the edges. “Yeah. I miss stuff like that. My sister stopped believing when she was nine, when my brother told her that Santa wasn’t real when she broke his Xbox controller.”

“You have a sister?” Camila asks, trying to think of a time she’d heard Lauren speak about her family. Aside from mentions of her abuela, she can’t think of any. “And a brother?”

“I…” Lauren pauses, like she’s considering something, but then she nods. “Yeah. I’m the eldest of three. My brother is eighteen now, and my sister is fifteen. And I’m twenty.”

Camila smiles. “So you’ve never really known being an only child, because you would’ve been two when your brother was born.”

“I… yeah. I- I guess,” Lauren nods, cuddling her Nala up to her chest. “How long until we land?”

At the abrupt subject change, Camila frowns, but doesn’t question it, even though she’d liked learning something about Lauren’s life and her upbringing. She checks her phone and shrugs. “I don’t know, like, half an hour?”

Lauren groans a little, closing her eyes again. “I hate planes.”

“Um, I don’t think so,” Camila shakes her, and green eyes flutter open, fixing her with an innocent stare. “You slept through most of this plane ride and ditched me. You’re entertaining me for the last half hour.”

Lauren whines. “But _Camz_ , I don’t like planes.”

“Funny that you think I care,” Camila rolls her eyes, but smiles a little, pulling Lauren close to her. “ _Fine_. Sleep if you want. I’ll wake you up when we’re on the ground.”

Instead of saying _no, it’s okay, I’ll stay up for you_ , Lauren just snuggles into her and closes her eyes, falling back to sleep. Camila wakes her up again once they’ve landed, muttering _it’s your own fault_ when Lauren complains about being groggy.

They collect their bags, Lauren checking her phone. “Should I call a cab?”

“No, my parents are here to pick us up,” Camila answers, checking her own phone and finding a text from Sinu, telling her where they’re waiting. “Are you going to visit your family while you’re here?”

Instead of answering, Lauren scrolls through her phone, and Camila considers the fact that maybe she hadn’t heard her. So, she shrugs, and follows Lauren out of the _arrivals_ gate, grinning from ear to ear when she sees her family.

She runs and picks her sister up, pulling her in for a tight hug and exclaiming, “wow, look how tall you’ve gotten!”

Sofi beams proudly. “I grew an inch! Papi says I’m going to be taller than you when I’m older.”

“Yeah, you will,” Camila agrees, because it’s not hard to be taller than her. “Do you want to meet my friend?”

Sofi nods, and Camila takes her hand, pulling her over to Lauren, who had been watching their interaction with something foreign in her eyes. Sofi smiles up at the older girl. “Hi! I’m Sofia, but everyone but mami calls me Sofi.”

“I’m Lauren,” Lauren introduces herself, putting on a gentle smile. “It’s really nice to meet you. Camila talks about you all the time.”

“She does?” Sofi looks over at Camila with a grin. “You better say good things.”

“I do, I do,” Camila holds her hands up in surrender, smiling, “Lauren knows just how awesome you are.”

After greeting Sofi, Lauren looks over to Camila’s parents and puts on a charming smile; Camila recognises it as the same smile she’d worn the day they’d met. “I just want to thank you for inviting me over for the holidays, Mr and Mrs Cabello. I appreciate that you’d offer something like that, even though you’ve never met me before. And- um, yeah, nice to meet you.”

Sinu smiles. “It’s just Sinu and Alejandro to you. Any friend of Karla’s is welcome in our home.”

Camila cringes, and Lauren turns to her with a small smirk. “Karla, huh?”

“Shut up, I didn’t pick it,” Camila hisses back, before she plasters on a smile and hugs her parents, so incredibly glad to be back home. “I missed you guys so much.”

After the obligatory reunion, they get into the car, Camila forced into the middle between Lauren and Sofi, but she doesn’t care, because she’s missed her family so much, even though it’s only been a few months and she’s on FaceTime with them practically every day.

“Imagine all the times we could’ve run into each other,” Camila announces, looking over at Lauren as they drive back to the Cabello household. “Maybe we _did_ run into each other, and we didn’t even know it. Maybe one time I was like, on the beach, and I bumped into you, not realising that you’d be my friend in the future.”

Lauren laughs lightly. “Yeah, maybe. That kind of thing is always weird to think about.”

“Are you from Miami, Lauren?” Sinu asks, and when Lauren nods, she continues. “Are you going to visit your family while you’re down here?”

Lauren tenses, and that’s when Camila realises that when she’d asked the same question, Lauren had ignored her on purpose. “I- um, no.”

“Oh, that’s a shame,” Sinu responds, “why not?”

Lauren looks incredibly uncomfortable, and Camila cuts in for her when then dots connect in her head. She turns to Lauren with a sympathetic smile and squeezes her hand. “It’s because of your abuela, isn’t it? It’ll be your first holiday season without her.”

“I-…” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and Camila sees the tears shining in her eyes. When Lauren gives her a solitary nod, Camila squeezes her hand again, a little confused when she sees guilt swimming in Lauren’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Sinu is quick to apologise, “I remember how hard it was for me to lose my abuelita.”

 _Great going, mami_ , Camila thinks, _we’re not even home yet and you’ve already made her cry._ “So, um, how’s school, Sofi?”

As Sofi launches into a rant about how she thinks spelling is _useless_ , and that she doesn’t need to use big words, that the words _nice_ and _good_ are perfectly fine, Camila rubs her thumb across Lauren’s knuckles, trying to comfort her. Lauren seems to appreciate it, because she squeezes Camila’s hand in response, resting her head on her shoulder.

When they’re finally back at the Cabello residence, Camila is suddenly hit with a _lot_ of worries. When she’d left, her room was practically a tornado of mess, and even though her room at the apartment is messy, it’s nothing compared to her bedroom at home. She’s nervous as she carries her bags upstairs, Lauren following her, and she pauses just outside the door.

“So, um,” Camila taps on the handle, “this is my room.”

“Okay,” Lauren acknowledges, “but- um, can you open the door? This bag is heavy.”

“I- yeah,” Camila nods, and braces herself for the mess and inevitable judgement from Lauren, who likes everything neat and tidy, but when she opens it, she thanks the lord for Sinu Cabello. Her mother had evidently done a deep clean of her room, and it’s even more impeccable than Lauren’s room in New York.

“So, um, you’re going to be sleeping here,” Camila says, rocking on her heels, “I mean, we’ve shared a bed before, so that’s fine, right?”

“Yeah,” Lauren says, putting her bag down with a small thud. “So, uh… what’s the plan for the week?”

“Five days,” Camila reminds her, “but… I don’t know. Just hang out and relax, then eat as much as we can on Thanksgiving, then recover, then get our flight back.”

“Okay,” Lauren says, sitting down on Camila’s bed. She examines the guitars on Camila’s walls, the band posters, and the keyboard in the corner, and she smiles. “It’s very _you_. Your room, I mean. Except for the fact that it’s _not_ messy.”

“It was when I left,” Camila admits, exposing herself, “my mom probably cleaned it. I remembered how bad it was when I left, and admittedly, I was a little reluctant to let you in here.”

“I already know you’re messy,” Lauren points out, “I live with you.”

“Well, yeah, but…” Camila thinks back to the way her room had looked when she left, “trust me. That’s nothing compared to what it was like.”

Lauren is quiet for a moment, and Camila is about to change subjects, but then, Lauren speaks. “Your family seem sweet. It’s… it’s really great that you’re so close with them. You should… appreciate that.”

“I guess with losing your abuela, you’re in that stage of realisation that parents and grandparents aren’t around forever,” Camila comments, sitting down next to Lauren, “sometimes that hits me, too. I’m glad it does, because it reminds me to text my mom goodnight and good morning, to message my dad and ask how work was, and to Skype my sister.”

“Yeah,” Lauren quietly agrees, “anyway, uh… enough depressing talk. Can we watch a movie or something? I still feel a little weird from the plane.”

“Oh, you’ll _love_ my huge Disney movie collection,” Camila announces, heading to the drawer where she keeps all of her DVDs. “Pick a movie. I bet you I’ll have it.”

Lauren hums in thought. “ _Big Hero 6.”_

Camila grins, finding the DVD and putting it in the player by her TV. It’s dusty and old, and she received it for her ninth birthday, but it still works as well as it did the day she got it. Then, she flops down on her bed, thankful to be home, and her stomach flips when Lauren cuddles up next to her.

She decides that if she could stay like this, at home with her family, with Lauren by her side, she’d be happy.

-

“Karla, I need you to run to the store and pick up some more potatoes,” Sinu says as Camila finishes peeling another carrot, passing it to Lauren for her to chop; Sinu had decided that it’d be best to keep Camila away from any kitchen appliances or sharp objects. “I don’t have enough here.”

“Okay,” Camila puts down the peeler and turns to Lauren. “Do you want to come? We haven’t really been out of the house much…”

“Uh…” Lauren pauses in thought, but nods. “Okay. I’ll come.”

They get their shoes on, and Camila passes Lauren the keys to the family car, telling her not to crash it. The older girl just rolls her eyes. “I’m a good driver.”

Naturally, Camila hijacks the aux cord, but puts on music she knows they both like, playing The 1975’s first album and singing at the top of her lungs with Lauren. If she’s being honest, she’s taken back by how beautiful Lauren’s singing voice is, and she opens her mouth to compliment her, but Lauren beats her to it.

“I really love your voice,” Lauren says, smiling, “it’s so soothing. That’s a voice that could sell out stadiums. If you wanted to.”

“That’s the dream,” Camila admits, “but your voice is amazing, too. I was actually surprised.”

Lauren snorts. “What, you thought I was tone deaf?”

“No, I just never knew you could sing. You’ve never mentioned having any musical talent.” Camila shrugs. “You mentioned painting as your creative outlet.”

“I don’t sing as a creative outlet, I just sing along to the radio and occasionally do drunk karaoke with the girls,” Lauren says, “it’s not something I’ve ever really thought about pursuing.”

“Well, I think you’re incredibly talented, Lo,” Camila tells her, and she means it one hundred percent. “Anyway, let’s hurry up and get what my mom needs, so dinner will be faster, and then I can eat sooner.”

Lauren just laughs as she parks the car in a grocery store parking lot. “You know, for someone so tiny, you eat a _lot_.”

“What can I say?” Camila laughs. “Food is the only love I’ve ever known.”

Camila doesn’t bother grabbing a basket as they walk into the store, and grabs Lauren’s hand, tugging her over to the produce aisle and blinking in surprise when she realises she hadn’t asked her mom what _kind_ of potatoes she needed. Thankfully, Lauren is there to steer her in the right direction, and help her look around for the best option.

Camila is digging through the basket of baking potatoes for the best date when it happens.

“What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing here?”

Lauren tenses at the words, and Camila hadn’t realised they’d even been directed at them. She turns around to see a woman, glaring at Lauren, and she frowns a little, turning to her friend. “Um, Lo, do you know this person?”

“That’s…” Lauren tries to get the words out, but eventually just shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut, before addressing the woman. “I’m not- I’m not here for _you_.”

The woman scoffs. “Likely story. I bet you think you can just show up on our doorstep on Thanksgiving and expect a free meal, but you’re _not_ welcome.”

Camila just blinks in confusion, and the woman fixes her with a glare, too. So, she turns to Lauren again. “Lo. Seriously, who is this?”

“I’m her _mother_ , unfortunately,” the woman says, and Camila freezes in shock. “I’m sorry if she’s ever done anything to you. God knows it wouldn’t be the first time, and you should speak up. Someone like _her_ needs to be locked up.”

“Um, what?” Camila is entirely bewildered, and she looks at Lauren, but the older girl is frozen in place, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. “Lo, what’s-”

“Just _go_ , Camila,” Lauren gets out, shrugging her off, “I’m- I’m fine.”

“Obviously you’re not, you’re fucking crying,” Camila points out, before she pushes Lauren behind her and tries to stand up to the woman. “Look, I don’t know what went down between the two of you, but Lauren’s my friend, and I don’t like the way you’re making her feel right now.”

“I don’t like the way she’s decided to show her face around here again. It’s bad enough that she has to embarrass us when she’s not here,” the woman snaps, shaking her head at Lauren. “You’re sick, and I told you I don’t want to see your face again until you’d decided you want to change and take the punishment you deserve. It was bad enough that you had the nerve to come back here and take everything your abuela had.”

Lauren’s jaw works, and she opens her mouth, trying to speak, but it snaps shut again. She looks down at her feet, completely broken and berated under her mother’s gaze. Camila pushes the woman back a little. “Leave her alone. Psychotic bitch. Lauren is an amazing person, and-”

“And she’s been lying to you. Probably since the moment you met her.” The woman snaps at her. “She’s sick and perverted and she’s no daughter of mine.”

Camila’s anger bubbles to the surface and she glares. “I wouldn’t want a fucking bitch like you for a mother anyway.”

She grabs Lauren by the hand and tugs her out of the store, the older Latina completely unresponsive until they’re back in Sinu’s car. Instead of letting Lauren drive, Camila clambers into the driver’s seat and wraps Lauren in a tight hug, gently rubbing comforting circles into the older girl’s back as she cries.

“You don’t have to explain anything,” Camila murmurs, kissing the top of Lauren’s head, her heart aching in her chest. “I can forget that ever happened if it makes you uncomfortable. And I’m sorry if I… like, pushed you into coming here. To Miami, I mean.”

Lauren just grips her tighter and cries into her shoulder, and Camila holds her, shushing her, trying everything she can to make Lauren feel better. They stay like that for what feels like hours, Camila holding her while Lauren cries, wishing she could fix things, to go in there and bitch slap Lauren’s mother for what she’d caused.

When Lauren has finally calmed down, Camila asks if she can quickly run back into the store and get the potatoes her mom had asked for, and Lauren nods, wiping at her eyes and staring out of the window, looking so broken and small that it kills her.

Camila is as quick as she can be in the store, dumping the potatoes in the back, and making sure she buys an extra packet of Reese’s peanut butter cups for Lauren, knowing it’s the only chocolate that Lauren really likes.

When she passes them to the older girl, Lauren accepts it, but doesn’t make a move to open the packet. “I’m sorry.”

“Whoa, what?” Camila blinks in surprise, because Lauren is the last person who should be apologising right now. “You literally have _nothing_ to be sorry for. What the- it’s your bitch of a mother that should be sorry.”

“She’s- I just,” Lauren stutters, shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut. “I don’t- I don’t like to talk about it.”

“Then you don’t have to tell me.” Camila simply replies, shrugging. “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. Anyway, you sit there, eat your chocolate, and smile. I’ll drive us back. I only have my learner’s permit, and I rarely drive, so let’s hope I don’t crash and kill us both.”

Thankfully, Camila gets them home safely, and holds Lauren’s hand as they go inside, carrying the groceries with her other hand. She passes them to her mom, before she takes Lauren upstairs and finds Nala for her, knowing that a cuddle always cheers Lauren up.

“We should watch a Disney movie.” Camila suggests, smiling. “That’s always a feel-good activity, right? Well… most of the time. Some of them are kind of depressing. But we’ll watch a happy one, and-”

“She was right. I’ve been lying to you.”

Camila blinks in surprise, not expecting that. “What?”

“I act like… like everything is perfect.” Lauren mumbles. “Like I’m happy, like everything in my life is how it’s supposed to be, but it’s not. I- when I started college… I came back here. For the holidays. Because things weren’t bad then. My mom… she didn’t… she didn’t hate me. Not then. Not like she does now.”

“Hey,” Camila sits down next to her and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “You don’t need to tell me any of this. It’s okay.”

“No, I- I trust you.” Lauren mumbles, and Camila’s heart soars. “I’d been… thinking about things. About me. Finally… accepting the fact that I like girls too. I thought I was finally ready to tell my parents, because I told my siblings, and it- it was fine. They were fine. I mean, my family still… went to church and everything, but they were never… they weren’t actively homophobic. I thought they’d accept it. I had this plan, that I’d tell them before I went back to New York, so it’d like… give them time to mull it over before they saw me next.”

“That didn’t happen,” Lauren picks at a loose thread on her jeans. “The pastor at church caught me with this girl and she- she wasn’t- ready to come out at _all_ , and she’d flirted with me, but because we got caught, she acted like… like I’d forced myself on her. Like I was trying to- to… assault her. The pastor got the cops involved, and it got back to my parents. I tried to tell them that it was a lie, that _she_ came onto _me_ , but they didn’t believe me once I admitted that I do like girls. Coming out… that was really the big nail in the coffin. _Obviously_ the girl was telling the truth, because why would a good Christian girl want to make out with the _perverted dyke_? Nobody would believe me after that. Especially not my parents, active members of the church and well-respected people. They weren’t about to side with some sick pervert. Well, I say _they_ , but it- it was my mom who didn’t believe me. My dad just rolled over and listened to her. My mom… she said she never wanted to see me again. That she would- would testify against me if it went to court.”

“I knew that if it ended up going that far… I’d lose everything. I’d lose my scholarship which I worked my _ass_ off for, and… that’d ruin my life. I wouldn’t be able to do _anything_. No college would’ve taken me if- if I was convicted for something I didn’t even _do._ ” Lauren stares down at her lap, and Camila rests her head on the older girl’s shoulder, giving her a comforting squeeze. “The only person who believed me unconditionally was my abuela. She was disgusted that my parents had cut me off. She did everything she could to get them to believe me, but they wouldn’t. As you can tell, my mom still thinks I’m some sick pervert. It didn’t... it didn’t end up going to court. I think maybe the girl… I don’t know, felt bad for lying? Either way, it didn’t… go too far. But it was still enough to destroy my relationship with my family, and any kind of good reputation I had. People were- were leaving comments on my Facebook before I deleted it, calling me a sinner, a pervert, a molester, all of these awful things and I just- I didn’t understand why nobody would believe me. Nobody but my abuela.”

“Before summer, this year, when my abuela got sick... I hadn’t seen my siblings for almost two years. My mom won’t let them contact me, and after seeing how she just cut me off, I don’t blame them for obeying her.” Lauren lets out a shaky breath. “And I didn’t… I didn’t just come back and take everything my abuela had. She left it all to me, because she knew I wasn’t getting anything from my parents except the occasional small cheque from my dad, that he sends when he feels bad about letting my mom just cut me out, which would be _impossible_ to live off. My mom tried to stop me from getting it, but things… things worked out in my favour for that.”

“I never told Lucy about any of this. That’s why it all fell apart between us. I was too scared to trust her in case she pulled the same thing and got me in trouble, which, rationally, I knew she wouldn’t do, but it’s like I was fucking traumatised by the whole thing with this girl.” Lauren reaches up and wipes at her eyes. “I lost my family, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing my friends too. It hurts so much, especially around this time of year. I used to be so close with them, and it’s like someone has cut off one of my limbs, and just told me to deal without it.”

“Truth is, I didn’t need a roommate this year.” Lauren admits and Camila blinks in surprise. Finally, Lauren cracks a small smile and murmurs, “Don’t worry, I’m not kicking you out. With the money my abuela left me, I could’ve rented our place by myself, but being alone… I just couldn’t bear the thought of it. Living alone would remind me of everything I’d lost, of the family that wanted nothing to do with me. So, when Lucy told me she was moving out for junior year because she wanted to try living alone, I advertised for a roommate, and honestly, when you moved in and told me you were from Miami… for a minute, I nearly reconsidered the whole thing, just in case you _knew_. None of the girls do, except for Mani.”

“Lauren…” Camila murmurs once she realises the other girl is finished. “I’m so sorry. Your family are such jackasses. Except your abuela, obviously.”

Lauren hums. “It doesn’t mean I don’t still miss them. All of these good memories I had… it just makes it hurt so much. And it was so unexpected, too. My parents had always loved me unconditionally, and they never seemed to have a hateful bone in their bodies. I guess my mom was just… the kind of person who couldn’t deal with outside opinions. She’d rather look good to a church than support me. I guess that’s what really makes it sting, how out of the blue it all was.”

“I’m just so sorry.” Camila says again, pulling Lauren in for a tight hug. “You don’t deserve any of that. You truly deserve the world, Lauren. You’re one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met and I’m so sorry that everything was ruined for you just because of one idiot lying to save her own skin.”

Lauren sighs, and snuggles up to Camila. “I’m just glad that you… that you heard me out. That you didn’t just think I was some kind of sick pervert like everyone else. When it happened, there were a few articles published about it, and people- they were calling me all of these awful things, telling me I was a sinner, that I was going to hell, calling for me to get locked up for assault, and it really made me consider just- I felt like I had nothing to live for. Like my whole life had been ruined when I was only eighteen. But my abuela… she made me promise that no matter what life throws at me, I wouldn’t give up. That I’d do everything I could to live my life to the fullest. I swore I would.”

Camila looks up, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “Are you?”

Lauren doesn’t answer her with words. Before Camila can even register what’s happening, Lauren is pulling her in for a kiss, and Camila’s heart flutters. She cups Lauren’s jaw with her hands, and pulls her closer, nervous, but deepens the kiss anyway, sucking on Lauren’s bottom lip. She feels everything at nothing at the same time, like every single human emotion has bubbled up to the surface, but all Camila knows is that she never wants to stop kissing Lauren.

Unfortunately for her, Lauren pulls away, sending her a small smile. “I think that counts as living my life to the fullest, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Camila breathes out in agreement, “you don’t know how long I’ve been wanting you to do that.”

“Really?” Lauren blinks in surprise, and it hurts Camila to see how disbelieving she is. “You wanted me to kiss you? After...”

“Yeah. Why do you think I was always so nervous around you? You’re like…” Camila trails off, sending Lauren a shy smile. “Intimidatingly gorgeous.”

“So, a quick question,” Lauren says, picking at the thread on her jeans again. “Would it be okay if… I kissed you again?”

“That would be perfect, honestly,” Camila answers, looking up at Lauren and looping her arm through the older girl’s. “So, um, this is going to seem incredibly off topic, but… why did you only want to room with another girl?”

Lauren seems to take the question the wrong way, and pulls away from her, shuffling backwards slightly. “You don’t believe me.”

Camila frowns. “What? How does that answer the question?”

“No, it’s not-” Lauren stands up, backing away from her and shaking her head, “I shouldn’t have fucking told you, because you- you don’t believe me, you- you think that- you think I’m sick and disgusting and- and I should’ve known, nobody _ever_ believes the accused in situations like… and you probably think that I was just- just trying to _groom_ you or something and-”

“Whoa, Lauren, relax,” Camila stands up and tries to take Lauren’s hand, but Lauren pulls away from her again. “It’s okay. I don’t know why my question caused that, because it was just a thought, but I promise I believe you. I _promise_. I know you’re telling the truth.”

“It’s just- just guilty until proven innocent in these cases, and- wait, what?” Lauren blinks in surprise when Camila’s words finally hit her. “You- you believe me?”

“Of course I do,” Camila answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. She knows she’s only known Lauren since August, but living with someone is bound to bring you close to them, and Lauren has been nothing but respectful and sweet. “You’re right; a lot of the time, in cases like these, people tend to straight up crucify the accused without even considering that the other person could be making it up. It sucks, and I’m so sorry you’ve had something like that affect you. You didn’t deserve it.”

“But- I don’t…” Lauren frowns down at her feet, “why did you ask that question, then? It- it felt like a way to- to find out if I was just… if it was true. If I was just some serial pervert and I wanted a girl to- to creep on.”

“Oh,” Camila realises how it could’ve come off like that, “ _no_! Honestly, I was just trying to segue into a cheesy segment about how I’m glad you picked me to be your roommate. Or, you know, how Ally picked me. But I was also kind of curious about your answer, because everything about your mind and your thoughts interest me.”

Lauren seems to calm down a little, judging by the way she lets Camila pull her back down onto the bed and hold her hand. “Oh. Well, um… it’s mostly just because boys tend to be… messy and smelly. And I like to keep the place clean.”

Camila snorts. “Well, sucks for you, but I’m pretty messy.”

“Yeah, but…” Lauren laughs a little at Camila’s teasing grin. “But you keep your mess in your room. The lounge and everything is still tidy.”

“Now _there’s_ that smile I adore so much.” Camila says, and Lauren blushes. “And I’m sorry. It’s my fault you’re even in Miami in the first place, and if I hadn’t pretty much begged you to come, you wouldn’t have had the run in with your mom. And you wouldn’t have had to tell me everything.”

“I would’ve. Eventually.” Lauren shrugs a little, finally getting comfortable enough to rest her head on Camila’s shoulder. “Especially since… since I have feelings for you. The whole reason things with Lucy fell apart was because I never told her, and I was… conflicted. About myself. My mom told me the only way I’d ever be welcome back home was if I promised to- to take a _severe, lengthy and_ _appropriate punishment for my crime_ and _agreed to change._ And at the time… I was honestly considering it. I was considering fucking _conversion therapy_ , which I knew wouldn’t work, just to get my family back. You can probably guess who talked me out of it.”

“Your abuela?” Camila asks, and when Lauren nods, Camila _really_ wishes that Lauren still had her grandmother there for her. “I’m so sorry you lost her, Lauren. But, I mean, you’ve got the girls. And me. That’s a family. It doesn’t matter if we’re not related by blood. It’s a fucking _great_ thing that we’re not related, because, uh, you know… I have a huge crush on you, so…”

Lauren laughs a little. “You started off really well there, with your whole family talk.”

“I know,” Camila lets out a dramatic sigh. “I guess I’m just destined to be awkward.”

They stay comfy, watching stupid daytime TV, while they wait for Sinu to finish making dinner. Usually, Camila helps, but they’d helped out earlier, and she doesn’t entirely feel like going back down when staying in Camila’s room means _cuddles with Lauren._

Yeah, between chores and cuddling with her crush, Camila is definitely picking the latter.

She hopes things will move forward from here. Lauren had opened up to her in a big way, and there’s the kiss, the one that confirmed Camila’s wildest dreams _could_ come true, because Lauren liked her back.

When they’re called downstairs for dinner, Camila makes sure Lauren is sat next to her, and she squeezes her friend’s hand under the table comfortingly. They go around the table and say what they’re thankful for, and when it’s finally Lauren’s turn, Camila definitely doesn’t expect the words that come out of the older Latina’s mouth.

“I’m thankful for a lot of things, but most importantly, I’m thankful for Camila, for always being there for me. For never, ever judging me. And I’m thankful for being invited here to join you all for this lovely dinner. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’d let me into your home and treat me like family.”

Camila attacks her in a hug, and Lauren laughs wrapping her arms around Camila’s waist and giving her a gentle squeeze. “You’re such a sweetheart.”

“Yeah, well,” Lauren murmurs, “I try.”

-

“I have to go shower. I have plane all over me.”

“That’s not even grammatically correct,” Camila laughs, watching as Lauren pulls her coat off and hangs it up, dropping her bag by the door. “But sure. Shall I microwave a frozen dinner for us both?”

“No, I can cook,” Lauren says, grabbing her bag again and taking it into her room, coming out with her PJs in a bundle in her arms. “It’ll be thanks for letting me gate-crash your family Thanksgiving.”

“My parents pretty much fell in love with you.” Camila snorts, flopping down on the couch. “I actually think they’re more excited to see _you_ at Christmas than they are to see _me_.”

Lauren laughs, but shakes her head. “No, your parents… they really adore you. You can see how proud they are of you, and I don’t blame them for that. You’re amazing.”

Camila blushes, trying to play the compliment off. “Wow, stop flirting with me and go take your shower.”

“Alright, I’ll be ten minutes,” Lauren says, ducking into the bathroom. Camila hears the shower turn on and she sighs in content, feeling so much more comfortable around Lauren after the last week. She’s so ecstatic that Lauren had opened up to her and told her about her awful relationship with her family, because it meant that Lauren trusted her.

She’s a little frustrated, though. Lauren hadn’t made any more moves to kiss her, and any time Camila had tried, they’d been interrupted by either Sofi or Sinu, bursting into Camila’s bedroom to ask her for something. Camila doesn’t understand how her dad is the only one in the family to understand the concept of _knocking_.

She wants things with Lauren to progress, and naturally, the only uninterrupted alone time she had with Lauren was on the plane journey back, which Lauren had slept through. It’s like the universe is doing everything it can to stop her having _the talk_ with Lauren.

She sighs, and puts on a _Harry Potter_ movie, getting herself comfortable. She waits until the noise of the shower disappears, and after a few minutes, Lauren comes out in her PJs, her hair obviously quickly towel-dried. “Are you hungry?”

Camila’s stomach flips; the first words out of Lauren’s mouth are just more proof of how caring and considerate she is, and how she’s _absolutely_ girlfriend material. And now they’re alone, Camila wants to make that happen. “Not yet. Come watch the movie with me.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, chuckling lightly at Camila’s pout. “What? Why are you pouting?”

“I want to cuddle,” Camila argues, patting the place next to her. “Come on, it’s important.”

“My hair is wet, idiot,” Lauren laughs, “We’ll cuddle later.”

Camila lets out a long, overdramatic sigh. “Fine. I guess we will. But you have to answer an important question first.”

“Okay,” Lauren says, moving a little closer at Camila’s continued pout. “What’s your question?”

“Which Hogwarts house are you in?”

Lauren laughs at the serious delivery, looking over at the TV and watching as Harry arrives at the Ministry on the Knight Bus. “Slytherin, but my secondary house is Hufflepuff. You?”

“Oh, I’m a Hufflepuff through and through,” Camila laughs, smirking a little, “you know, they say that Hufflepuff/Slytherin relationships are the cutest.”

Lauren smiles a little. “Interesting.”

Carefully, Camila takes Lauren’s hand and squeezes it, content with that for now. She watches the movie, content to just be in Lauren’s presence, and she’s a little annoyed when the credits roll and Lauren stands up stretching.

“What are you in the mood for?” Lauren asks. “I’ll cook something with whatever weird tinned stuff we’ve got in. Or I’ll buy takeout if you’re in the mood for that.”

“Weird tinned stuff doesn’t sound all that appealing,” Camila laughs, “just order pizza and I’ll pay you back-”

“No. My thanks for a lovely week,” Lauren cuts her off, grabbing her laptop and pulling up the Domino’s website. “Even with the one blip… I had fun. And it’s making me look forward to Christmas, just to have that sense of… I don’t know, inclusion?”

That’s when Camila has a realisation. “Lo… you didn’t spend last Christmas alone, did you?”

“No,” Lauren answers, and that makes Camila feel a little better, “I went back to Miami and stayed with my abuela. Just me and her. I was hurting a lot because it was the first Christmas that I wasn’t spending with my parents or my siblings, but we made it special, and I’m glad I got to have that with her before…”

“Well, I’m going to make this year special for you, too,” Camila promises her, “I told my mom she’s not allowed to put the decorations up, because that’s going to be our job when we get there.”

Lauren smiles a little. “Okay. I’m down for that.”

“Anyway, um, not to kill the mood,” Camila starts as Lauren gets the pizza ordered, “but I feel like we need to talk.”

Lauren looks up from her computer with a frown. “About what?”

“About how… how you kissed me,” Camila says, “and you haven’t kissed me _since_. I told you I wanted you to do it again. And we both indirectly admitted we liked each other.”

Lauren sighs, and closes her laptop, sinking down on the couch. She suddenly looks a lot smaller than she did before. “It’s not that I don’t like you, because I do. I _really_ do. I just wanted to- to give you space. To prove to you that I understand consent and what it means, and that I’m not just going to come at you. Because I know you believe me and you know that I’m telling the truth, but I get so scared sometimes and I feel like I have to prove so much more than everyone else.”

“Hey,” Camila sits down next to her and locks her fingers with Lauren’s, using her free hand to tilt the older girl’s chin up, so she meets her gaze. “You don’t have to prove anything to me. You don’t need to be scared. I trust you with everything I have and you didn’t need to give me space.”

“You mean it?” Lauren asks. “You really want me?”

“I do,” Camila nods, her gaze flicking down to Lauren’s lips. “And I’d love it if I could take you on a date?”

Lauren blushes, rubbing her free hand up and down her thigh. “I’d like that.”

Camila smiles, and pulls Lauren in for a gentle hug, kissing the top of her head. “Okay, now we’ve sorted _that_ out, get that pizza tracker open. I like to watch as the little dot that indicates my delivery driver gets closer and closer.”

Lauren just laughs, and pulls away from Camila to grab her laptop.

But not before pressing a gentle kiss to the younger girl’s cheek.

-

**_ December _ **

“This isn’t going to work.”

“Camz-”

“No!” Camila pouts, staring at the front door. “I’m supposed to pick you up for our date, but I can’t pick you up when we _live together_. So- so get back into your bedroom and act like you’re surprised when I knock.”

“Really, Camila?” Lauren raises her eyebrows, but Camila stays stubborn, so she sighs, and walks back into her bedroom, closing the door. Camila grins, and knocks on the door. Lauren opens it and deadpans, “Wow, Camila, what a surprise.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “There was no need for that attitude. But whatever, you look beautiful, so I guess I’ll let it slide.”

“You’re the most beautiful, though,” Lauren comments, looking her over. “I think you’re gorgeous.”

“Stop flirting with me, weirdo,” Camila laughs, pulling Lauren out of the apartment and locking the door behind them. “Are you okay driving? Or I can drive, but I’ll need your car keys-”

“I can drive,” Lauren is quick to assure her, leading Camila over to her car. “I hate driving in the city, but it saves us paying for a cab. Where are we going, exactly? I know you told me not to dress up, so…”

“Coney Island,” Camila says, climbing into the front seat. “It’s like, kind of low maintenance, but I don’t like whole idea of a lot of pressure on the first date. It builds up all of these expectations and if it doesn’t meet every single one of them, people consider the date to be a failure and don’t go on a second one, and I don’t want things to go that way with us.”

“That’s really sweet, Camz.” Lauren smiles, starting the car. “But I think it’s safe to say that you’re getting a second date.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “We’re not even ten seconds into this one and you already want a second one?”

“For me, it doesn’t matter how a date turns out. It’s the _person_ you’re with that matters,” Lauren explains. “And I already know I like you, so it doesn’t matter if everything goes wrong on the date, because a lot of things could be out of your control. So… try not to worry, Camz.”

“Oh,” Camila takes the words in, and then her face breaks into a smile. “Okay. Well, I’m glad that we’re both on the same page that there’s no pressure. Well, there’s a _little_ pressure, because I really want to kiss you right now and it’s hard to hold myself back, but you know. There’s no _intense_ pressure because this date won’t make or break us.”

Lauren laughs a little. “You could’ve kissed me at any point all week.”

“Wait, I could’ve?” Camila blinks in surprise, and Lauren nods. “Are you serious? Are you _serious_? I thought I had to wait until after this date.”

Lauren shakes her head, smiling. “No. I told you that I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

“You could’ve used the key words _right now_ ,” Camila pouts, sighing. “Now I’m just _sad_. I could’ve kissed you this whole week and I didn’t get the chance.”

“You can kiss me tonight,” Lauren shrugs, blushing a little, “I’m just… really glad that you like me back.”

“Duh. You’re fucking adorable.” Camila shrugs. “And like, you’ve been nothing but sweet and respectful ever since we met. Obviously I’m going to fall for that.”

Again, Lauren blushes and taps against the steering wheel. “You’re cute, Camz. Anyway, can we maybe… go out for dinner? When we’re back in Miami, I mean. I- there’s this restaurant I really like, and I want to take you there.”

“Alright,” Camila smiles, “that’s cool. Anyway, I’m totally going to kick your ass at air hockey.”

Lauren scoffs. “Well, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m going to kick _your_ ass. I don’t go down without a fight.”

“Uh, I think you’ll find that I’m the reigning champion,” Camila says, rolling her eyes. “Like, by this point, it’s safe to say that I’m a professional. So, I’m going to crush you.”

“No, you’re not,” Lauren laughs, “the sooner you admit that, the better you’ll feel.”

Camila scowls at her as Lauren parks. “You know what? We’ll _see_ who’s the best in about five minutes, won’t we?”

“I guess we will,” Lauren agrees, getting out of the car and stretching. “First thing’s first, I’m going to kick your ass at air hockey, and _then_ we’re getting ice cream.”

“Sounds good,” Camila says, cautiously taking Lauren’s hand. She’s trying to test the waters as much as she can. “Come on, let’s go have some fun.”

Camila takes Lauren into one of the arcades, digging through her pockets for change to put into one of the free air hockey machines. Lauren grabs one of the mallets and waits until the puck drops, and places it on the table, shooting it at Camila’s goal with all her strength.

When it ricochets off Camila’s mallet and skids straight into the older girl’s goal, Camila can’t help but laugh at her. “Aw, you really tried, that’s cute.”

Lauren lets out a frustrated growl and gets the puck out again, shooting it at a still laughing Camila. It bounces off the side and into Camila’s goal, and Lauren smirks. “Not laughing now, are you?”

“You got lucky,” Camila says, shooting the puck again. Lauren blocks it and shoots it back, and once it starts bouncing against the side, Camila practically throws herself on the table to block her goal, shooting it back to Lauren’s side of the table.

“Hey, no, that’s a foul,” Lauren shouts, her brow scrunched in concentration as she hits the puck. “You lose a- _fuck you_.”

She cuts herself off when Camila hits the puck into her goal and scowls over the table at her. Camila just smiles innocently, jumping back into action when Lauren gets the puck out and hits it as hard as she can.

“You know, it’s cute how frustrated you’re getting,” Camila comments casually, scoring another goal. “I _did_ warn you that I’m amazing at this.”

“Try going up against _Dinah_ ,” Lauren says, whining in annoyance when Camila scores her fourth goal. “She may act like a dumbass, but when it comes to games like these, she doesn’t play. She uses her math skills and figures out the best angles to hit at. It’s unfair.”

When Camila scores her fifth goal, she feels a little bad, and lets Lauren get another goal in so her defeat isn’t _too_ embarrassing. “Hey, you got another one! Nice.”

“Now I just feel bad,” Lauren pouts, blocking Camila’s next shot, “every time you get a goal I get mad and you just congratulate me. You’re too nice. Trash talk me.”

“I’m congratulating you on your cute little effort, because you’re not going to win,” Camila laughs, scoring another goal. “It’s literally six-two right now, Lo. And we have thirty seconds left on the clock.”

“I could redeem myself,” Lauren says, hitting the puck at her aggressively and letting out a loud _god dammit_ when it bounces off Camila’s goal and slides right into hers. “You know what? Fuck this game.”

Camila lets her get another point, because she knows she’s already won, and once the timer hits zero at the air turns off, she grins and takes a bow. “Thank you, thank you, yes, I know, I’m amazing.”

“Nuh-uh,” Lauren shakes her head, digging some coins out of her pocket and putting them into the slot. “Rematch. I’m not accepting defeat this easy. I can lose to _Dinah_ , aka the math whiz, but I’m _not_ losing to little Camz.”

“Fine, if you want to lose _twice_ , that’s on you,” Camila shrugs, grabbing her mallet again and watching as Lauren shoots the puck at her. She blocks it from going into her goal and shoots it back at Lauren, who manages to block it and get it into Camila’s goal. “Alright, you didn’t come to play. I see you.”

Camila hits the puck to the side and it pings against Lauren’s goal, shooting back it her, she watches as it ricochets off the corner and shoots straight into Lauren’s goal. Lauren groans and grabs the puck again. “ _Camila_ , stop being good at this.”

“Nope,” Camila laughs, scoring another goal straight away. “I told you, I’m the reigning champ.”

Camila ends up winning, naturally, and she practically has to pull Lauren away from the air hockey table to stop her declaring another rematch. She takes Lauren to a nearby ice cream stand, and has to deal with her friend being pouty as she orders.

“I want a triple scoop cookies and cream ice cream.” Lauren announces as Camila turns to her, asking what she wants. “I think I deserve it after my crushing defeat.”

“Alright,” Camila laughs, handing the cone to Lauren once it’s made and paying the guy, before she takes Lauren’s free hand. “Come on, loser.”

“Now you’re just rubbing salt in the wound,” Lauren lets out a dramatic sigh, “I didn’t realise you were _that_ good at air hockey.”

“I guess you could say it’s one of my secret talents.” Camila laughs, licking her ice cream so she can get rid of it as quickly as possible; in Camila’s opinion, the best part of an ice cream is the cone, _especially_ when it’s a chocolate-dipped one like she has now. “I’ll maybe show you more of my talents one day.”

“Just as long as it’s not going to be embarrassing for me.” Lauren laughs, and Camila is overwhelmed by just how gorgeous she is. “ _Please_ don’t tell anyone about how you destroyed me _seven_ to _one_. Please.”

Camila just looks at Lauren with a dreamy smile. “I really like you, Lauren. It’s kind of scary.”

“Scary?” Lauren looks over at her, frowning slightly at the way Camila shivers slightly. “Are you cold?”

“Yeah,” Camila admits, looking down at her hoodie and shrugging. “I figured I’d be fine in this.”

“Hold this,” Lauren announces, passing Camila her ice cream, before she shrugs off her bomber jacket and drapes it over Camila’s shoulders. “There. Now, are you going to tell me why you’re scared?”

“You don’t need to give me your jacket,” Camila says, passing Lauren her ice cream back and finishing her own off, before she pulls it on anyway, loving the way Lauren’s scent surrounds her. “But I’m scared about… I don’t know, liking you? I’ve never had a crush that ever went further than me staring across the room at them and considering that flirting. I’m on a _date_ with you. You’ve _kissed_ me. And it’s overwhelming.”

Lauren squeezes her hand. “I can back off, if that’s what you need.”

“That’s the last thing I want _or_ need.” Camila is quick to assure her of that. “But it’s just surreal and I don’t really know how this stuff works. So, I’m asking if you can be patient with me when I do something awkward or weird. I know you _will_ , but I just need the confirmation.”

“Of course, Camz,” Lauren smiles at her. “I’ll be patient, but I won’t think you’re awkward or weird anyway. I already _know_ that.”

Camila laughs, rolling her eyes. “Meanie.”

“You know I’m joking,” Lauren nudges her comfortingly, “I don’t think that. I mean, if we’re talking first impressions, I honestly thought you didn’t like me. Especially because _after_ we met, you straight up avoided me.”

“It was because I liked you _too_ much,” Camila snorts, “no, I mean, I was attracted to you, but it wasn’t a crush, because I didn’t know you. But then I _got_ to know you, and you were a total sweetheart. I was never going to act on anything, because I thought you wouldn’t have liked me back.”

“I felt the same way, to be honest. I thought you were cute, but I figured you wouldn’t be comfortable with that kind of thing. You know, since you were so anxious.” Lauren admits. “I had a little feeling that you at least found me attractive, but then I heard Dinah and Mani talking about it, and Dinah said you’d admitted it to her on Halloween. So I tried showing you I liked you back but you never got the hint.”

“Hint?” Camila turns to her with a loud _psh_. “There weren’t any hints.”

“I literally asked you out and you didn’t pick up on it!” Lauren laughs, shaking her head. “You’re so dumb, oh my god.”

“Asked me out?” Camila gives her a light shove. “Bitch, _where_ and _when_?”

“When I invited you to lunch!” Lauren laughs, shoving her back. “ _Bitch_. I held your hand the entire time and I thought you knew it was a romantic thing, but you just fucking- started talking about someone you liked?”

“I was hinting that I liked _you_.” Camila rolls her eyes. “Besides, I literally asked you the reason you invited me out and you said _because I’m hungry_.”

“And I like spending time with you,” Lauren adds, scoffing, “of course you’d conveniently forget the biggest hint of all. _And_ I was studying at home just to be around you, when I fucking hate doing that, because I get distracted by everything. I’m like, oh, the TV is over there, I can just watch an episode of a show and then get back to my work. Next thing I know, I’m a season deep and I haven’t moved for hours.”

“Well, considering I thought you were way too cool and out of my league, I’m not going to pick up on any of that, am I?” Camila rolls her eyes. “You were too subtle.”

“I made you a sandwich on all your busy days and wrote little notes with hearts at the bottom.” Lauren deadpans. “If that’s not obvious, I don’t know what is. Honestly, I could’ve waved a big neon sign in front of your face and you still wouldn’t have got it. Even me _kissing_ you wasn’t enough, you were like _why did you do that_. Obviously because I like you, loser.”

“I- well,” Camila bites down on her bottom lip, because when Lauren puts it like that, it’s kind of obvious. “Be nice to me, I’ve never been in a situation like that before, where my crush actually _liked me back_.”

“I still practically spelled it out for you,” Lauren laughs, but throws an arm around Camila’s shoulder and pulls her close. “I wanted you to make the first move, but I guess it had to be me.”

Camila frowns. “Why’d you want me to make the move?”

“Because, I mean, I didn’t want to just kiss you or tell you I liked you in case those feelings were unwanted. I didn’t want you to feel pressured, because I knew you were anxious around people, and I felt like maybe you wouldn’t speak up if you didn’t feel the same.” Lauren explains. “I was worried that maybe you’d feel like you _had_ to be with me if I made that move, for fear of destroying a friendship.”

Camila turns that over in her head, before she sends Lauren a smile. “Well, I never would’ve made the first move, because I’m way too awkward for that. But surely, once you heard Dinah and Mani gossiping about me liking you, you would’ve just gone for it.”

“I also wanted you to be the one to take that step, because I know you’ve never been with anyone before,” Lauren says, shrugging, “that was my plan. To let you do it. But _then_ , I- I told you about everything and you actually _believed_ me and I was just so… overwhelmed with feeling. And I kissed you.”

“You kissed me,” Camila repeats, smiling, but then she gives Lauren a playful shove. “And you haven’t kissed me _since_.”

Lauren just hums. “Maybe I want _you_ to make that move.”

Camila studies her for a moment, watching as Lauren bites into the cone of her ice cream. “So… um, in theory, I could kiss you? Right now?”

“Mhm,” Lauren nods, finishing off her cone. “So, um… feel free to do… what you want.”

Camila smiles, toying with Lauren’s fingers. She looks up at the older girl, her gaze flicking down to Lauren’s plump lips, before she reaches up, cups Lauren’s jawline, and pulls her in for a kiss.

Lauren’s hands rest on Camila’s waist, pulling her closer, and Camila gently bites on her bottom lip, using Lauren’s small gasp as an excuse to slip her tongue inside the older girl’s mouth. Camila’s fingers trace Lauren’s jawline, before she tangles her fingers through Lauren’s soft hair, breathing in the older girl’s vanilla scent. Her mind goes haywire, the only thought running through it being _Lauren_. The only thing she wants is _Lauren_.

Lauren pulls away first, but Camila shakes her head, cupping her jaw and murmuring, “not done.”

Lauren laughs, but cuts herself off with a surprised squeak when Camila pulls her back in for more. The younger girl’s hands lock at the back of Lauren’s neck, fingers tracing over the tattoo she knows is there, and she decides that this is all she wants for the rest of her life.

“Okay,” Camila says, pulling away, “ _now_ I’m done. For now.”

“You know how you were so adamant that you had to _pick me up_ for this date?” Lauren asks, and Camila hums, unsure about how this is related. “Well… what’re you going to do about dropping me off home? You know, since we _live together_.”

“Oh my god.” Camila laughs. “ _Oh my god they were roommates.”_

Lauren laughs. “Such a trope, huh? But I’m serious. You’re not going to like, lock me out or something, right?”

Camila hums in thought. “No, I’ll say goodbye to you outside your bedroom door, and then you have to go inside your room. Like it’s your house. That’s how this is going to work.”

“You’re so…” Lauren ducks her head to hide her smile, “you’re just… a special kind of weird, aren’t you?”

“But you _like_ it.”

“Yeah. I guess I do.”

-

“Merry Christmas!” Camila announces as she bursts through the front door, dumping her suitcase and pouncing on her mother in a hug. “I missed you!”

Sinu laughs, giving her a tight squeeze. “I missed you too, mija. Nice to see you again, Lauren.”

“You too, Sinu,” Lauren smiles politely, picking up the suitcase Camila had dumped. “Shall I take these up to your room, Camz?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods, before attacking her little sister in a hug. She watches as Lauren disappears up the stairs, and then she turns to her mom again, sending her a warning look. “No teasing. Or interrogating her.”

Sinu laughs. “Don’t worry, I know that Lauren will be a good girlfriend already.”

“ _Mami_ ,” Camila is quick to scold her. “She’s not my girlfriend yet. We’ve only been on one official date and even though I’m planning to ask her… we’re not together yet.”

“Well, whatever,” Sinu rolls her eyes, “Go upstairs and help her with the bags or she won’t want to be your girlfriend.”

Camila snorts, but heads upstairs to help Lauren with the bags, finding the older Latina digging through her suitcase. Camila pauses, frowning. “Why are you going through my suitcase?”

“Finding Nala,” Lauren comments, lifting up a few shirts and grinning, pulling her stuffed animal out, but pouting when she sees the toy’s squashed head. “You didn’t have to put her under everything. I still can’t believe you wouldn’t just let me carry her.”

“You’re twenty,” Camila laughs, “I’m not hanging out with you if you’re carrying your stuffed animal around in public.”

Lauren smirks, wrapped her arms around her stuffed animal. “Nala and I are a package deal, Camz.”

“So, um…” Camila cringes a little, “I don’t think this is going to work out between us, Lauren…”

“Oh, shut up,” Lauren laughs, sitting down on Camila’s bed. “So, we’re going out tonight, right? I can take you on a date?”

“Of course,” Camila smiles, sitting next to her. “But what I really want to know is… how are you feeling? Being back here and everything?”

Lauren lets out a small sigh, but shrugs nonchalantly. “I don’t know. I think I’m okay. Not being around my family at Christmas is probably something that’s always going to hurt, but… I don’t know. I actually, um, need to go over there. Not to talk to them, but to leave a card in the mail for my brother and sister. I sent one last year, but since I’m here…”

“I’ll go with you,” Camila offers, squeezing her hand. “You know, for moral support. And for the possible opportunity to slap your mom if she’s nearby.”

“No, she won’t be there around this time, she’s a teacher, so…” Lauren shrugs, “the house should be empty if we go now.”

Camila waits until Lauren has taken the cards in question out of her suitcase, and then follows her downstairs, yelling to her parents that she’s taking the car for now. Lauren drives, and Camila can tell how tense and scared she is, and she hates seeing it. There’s nothing Camila wants more than to see Lauren smiling and happy.

When Lauren pulls up outside a generously sized house and lets out a shaky breath, Camila reaches out and takes her hand. “Hey. It’s just posting two cards. You’ll be okay.”

“Yeah. You’re right.” Lauren nods, looking up at the house. “Come with me?”

“Of course,” Camila smiles, and pushes open the door to the car, waiting for Lauren to take her hand. She follows her up the driveway, and Lauren looks at the cards, before she reaches out, opening the mail slot and going to push them through.

That’s when the door opens.

Camila is quick to put an arm around Lauren and try to steer her away from the door, but her girlfriend is pulled away from her. Camila goes to argue, but pauses when the person who’d opened the door – a teenage girl – wraps Lauren in a tight hug, murmuring, “oh my god, Lauren.”

“Hey,” Lauren breathes out, burying her face into the girl’s shoulder. “Hi, Tay.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t see you in- in summer. When you were back here for… for abuela,” the girl, Taylor, murmurs. “Mami wouldn’t let me. Or Chris.”

“It’s okay,” Lauren mumbles, before she frowns, looking up at the house, “wait, why are you home? It’s a school day, you should be… um, _oh_ , Tay, this is Camila, she’s my... um…, Camz, this is Taylor. She’s my little sister.”

Camila looks at the height difference and laughs. “Little?”

Taylor laughs. “She’s the oldest and the shortest of all of us.”

“Aw, Lo, I always knew you were little and cute,” Camila teases her, but her heart flutters at the way Lauren seems so happy. “But it’s nice to meet you, Taylor.”

“You too,” Taylor smiles, “I didn’t know you were back in Miami, Lo.”

“Um, Camila’s family live here, and I’m spending the holidays with them,” Lauren explains, holding out the two cards. “These are for you and Chris. I don’t know if you got my card last year… but there’s fifty in there for each of you.”

“Can we go for lunch? Once I get off school?” Taylor asks, “I’m only home today because I’m homesick, but once the semester ends, can I meet you? And Chris?”

“I- I don’t think mom will let that happen,” Lauren admits, shrugging, “I’d love to, I really would, but I don’t want to get you guys in trouble.”

“She wouldn’t know,” Taylor says, “promise. And dad would cover for us, I’ve heard him defending you before…”

Lauren looks a little conflicted, but gives Taylor her number. “Call me, okay? I love you so much, Tay.”

Taylor pulls her in for another hug. “I love you too, Lo. I’ve tried to get mami to change her mind but she’s…”

“A stone-cold bitch,” Camila mutters, loud enough for them both to hear. “What? It’s the truth.”

Lauren laughs a little, squeezing her hand, and then turns back to Taylor. “I should… get out of here. In case she comes home. But… I love you, okay? And tell Chris that, too.”

“Okay,” Taylor pulls Lauren in for one last hug. “Bye, Lo. I love you too.”

Once Taylor goes back inside, Lauren lets out a long, happy sigh and swings their hands as she walks to the car. “I’ve missed my siblings so much.”

“I get that,” Camila says as she drops Lauren’s hand to get into the car. “I miss Sofi when I’m away at college, and that’s _with_ FaceTime. I can’t imagine how much you miss them.”

“I guess it’s just… comforting to know that they don’t hate me, too.” Lauren admits, starting the car. “To know that they haven’t been completely indoctrinated by my mother. That’s such a relief.”

Camila smiles. “I’m happy for you.”

“It’s just- it’s amazing, you know,” Lauren beams, rambling happily, “they believe me, too. And I’m just excited at even the thought of getting to see them again, even though I’m a little cautious because they might get in trouble, which I don’t want, but I just…”

As Lauren rambles on about how excited she is, Camila watches her, a dreamy smile on her face, and decides that happiness makes her twenty times more beautiful.

“Be my girlfriend.”

She doesn’t realise the words have tumbled out of her mouth until Lauren pauses, quickly pulls over, and looks at her in shock. “What?”

“Be my girlfriend,” Camila repeats, sure of herself. “Please.”

“I- um,” Lauren blinks, before she bites down on her bottom lip and sends Camila a shy nod. “Okay.”

“Wait, _no_ ,” Camila realises, shaking her head, “no, you’ve got to say no, I want to ask you all romantically and stuff and it’ll be this big, cute gesture and-”

“Camz…” Lauren cuts her off with a soft laugh, “it doesn’t _have_ to be a big gesture to mean something. Just the fact that you _asked_ me means a lot. I’m honoured that you’d want me to be yours.”

“I- well- yeah, obviously,” Camila stammers, “I really… you’re- you’re _you_. You’re adorable and pretty and respectful and… just, everything I’d want in a woman. And I feel like you deserve a grand proposal or something…”

Lauren blushes, but shrugs. “I think you’re… so, so sweet, Camz. You’re literally the definition of chivalry, and I know you’ve never been with anyone before, and it just makes me feel all the more honoured that you’d want me. You do- you _do_ want me? Right?”

Camila blinks in surprise. “Duh. I just asked you to be mine.”

“No, but- I- I mean,” Lauren stutters, looking down at her feet. “I was- someone else told me they wanted me before. And I lost everything because of it. I just need you to promise me that this isn’t a trick.”

“Baby…” Camila’s heart practically breaks at Lauren’s words, and she takes the older girl’s hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. “I promise it’s not a trick, beautiful. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”

“Okay,” Lauren murmurs, “I trust you, Camz.”

“Good,” Camila smiles, pulling Lauren in for a kiss, “I trust you too.”

Lauren nods, and starts to drive again, really hoping she’d made the right decision.

-

**_ January _ **

“I hate this.”

Lauren frowns over at her, sitting down on the couch. She looks over the papers splayed out on the coffee table, and at her distressed girlfriend. “I don’t understand any of that, so… want some hot cocoa?”

Camila sighs, but shakes her head. “No, baby. You’ve got your own studying to do.”

“I’ll make us _both_ cocoa.” Lauren offers, kissing the top of Camila’s head and heading over to the kitchen, digging around the fridge for some milk. “And we can take a breather from our work. You can’t study efficiently without breaks.”

“I guess,” Camila pushes away the papers she’s working on, hating the work on composition. If she’s being honest, music theory makes her head hurt sometimes. “Yeah, alright, I should have a break.”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums as she busies herself with making cocoa. “I think I have an idea of what we can do.”

Camila smirks a little. “Oh, really?”

Lauren grabs the mugs and walks over, putting them down on the coffee table away from Camila’s work. Then, she leans forwards and pulls Camila in for a gentle kiss, and the younger girl melts into it, her hands resting on Lauren’s waist. Lauren shifts so she’s laying across the couch, pulling Camila down with her, fingers playing with the hem of Camila’s shirt.

“Is this okay?” Lauren murmurs, and Camila nods, letting Lauren pull her t-shirt off her and toss it across the room. “You’re beautiful.”

Camila gasps a little when Lauren’s thumb rubs over the sensitive peak of her breast, and leans down, kissing the other woman, toying with the hem of Lauren’s sweater. “Can I take your shirt off, babygirl?”

Camila hears Lauren’s sharp intake of breath at the nickname, and smirks a little. “Yeah, you can- um, you can take it off.”

Camila pulls Lauren’s sweater off, kissing the older girl’s jawline as she tosses the sweater across the room. She pulls back, staring in shock, when she realises Lauren hadn’t been wearing a bra. “I- um, sorry, I thought…”

“Camila,” Lauren pulls her back down for another kiss, “I want you to see me. All of me. Because I’m all yours.”

Camila swallows the lump in her throat and nods, kissing along Lauren’s jawline. When the older Latina starts playing with the clasp on Camila’s bra, the younger Latina hesitates, unsure. But she kisses Lauren, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in her belly.

When Lauren goes to unhook Camila’s bra clasp, Camila grabs Lauren’s hands, stopping them, and pulling out of the kiss. “I don’t know about this.”

Lauren watches her for a moment, and Camila feels vulnerable under her gaze, but then, she simply nods and kisses her cheek. “Okay. Do you want to watch some dumb reality TV?”

“Wait-” Camila blinks in surprise, “you’re not upset?”

“No,” Lauren watches as Camila shifts off of her and rolls over to lay next to her on the bed. “Why would I be upset?”

“Because I- I had the intention of doing stuff, I promise. Maybe even doing _it_ ,” Camila starts, sighing, “and it was just, like… I thought I was ready, but then it turned out I’m not, and I don’t want you to think I was just teasing you or getting you all worked up to just leave you high and dry.”

Lauren stares at her, before she cracks a small smile. “It’s okay to not be ready. We can go at whatever pace you want to go at. I don’t mind how fast or how slow. Just as long as we’re both comfortable.”

Camila sighs, but this time it’s one of content. “You’re such a good girlfriend. Thank you for being so understanding.”

“It’s okay,” Lauren smiles at her, squeezing her hand. “You’re a pretty amazing girlfriend too, you know. And I’m so happy you were comfortable enough to stop things. I’m so glad you didn’t just go through with it because you felt like you had to, because that’s not what I want your first time to be like. Or our first time _together._ ”

Camila kisses her. “You’re just… everything to me. I’m so glad you’re mine.”

“Mhm,” Lauren beams, “and I’ll be yours as long as you want me.”

“Trust me,” Camila laughs. “I’m always going to want you.”

“Cheesy, much?”

Camila rolls her eyes at the smirk on Lauren’s face. “Shut up, Jauregui.”

Lauren just grins. “Make me.”

Camila wipes the teasing grin from Lauren’s face by pulling her in for another kiss. “Put some cheesy reality TV on, idiot.”

Lauren just laughs and sits up, tugging her sweater back on. Camila puts her t-shirt on and sits back against the couch, not at all surprised when Lauren grabs the TV remote and settles herself against Camila. Camila wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist and rests her chin on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“So,” Camila grins, “reality TV?”

Lauren opens up YouTube on their TV and hums in thought. “Bad talent show auditions?”

“Fuck yeah,” Camila laughs, and Lauren searches for a compilation. She smiles a little, kissing the tattoo at the nape of Lauren’s neck. “I’m obsessed with your tattoos.”

Lauren smiles. “Do you want any tattoos?”

“No,” Camila admits, shrugging, “I find them hot. But I’m too indecisive to pick something that’ll be on my body permanently.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Yeah, I guess I can understand that. But, I mean, some people have beauty spots and stretch marks and scars on their bodies that are permanent, too. Not by choice. For me, I’d rather have something permanent that I picked.”

“Did your back tattoo hurt?” Camila asks, tracing a finger down Lauren’s spine. “Or… so some hurt more than others?”

“Yeah,” Lauren answers, “most painful was probably the dragonfly. But then… I don’t know if it really was, because it was the first one I ever got.”

“Well, they’re all hot,” Camila says, wondering if that means she has a tattoo kink. “Anyway, have you picked a video?”

“Yeah,” Lauren nods and presses play, fingers tracing over the back of Camila’s hand. “You’ll be great at critiquing these people. You know, being my amazingly talented, Juilliard attending, musical prodigy of a girlfriend.”

Camila blushes. “Stop, you’ll make me full of myself. Besides, I wouldn’t want to sit around critiquing other people’s art. You know… unless it’s as bad as some of these.”

She cringes when someone misses a note and cracks, and Lauren laughs. “You’re cute. You should totally go on something like this. I think you’d have a pretty good shot.”

Camila raises her eyebrows and looks over at the TV screen. “You think I should go on a _TV_ _talent show_? You do realise we’re watching a compilation of _bad_ auditions, right?”

Lauren laughs, shaking her head. “I mean, if this is the kind of competition you’re going to get, you’ll have no problem winning.”

That’s when Camila has a realisation. Not about going on a talent show, but about the things she always says she looks for in a girl. “Wait. Lauren. I just… realised something.”

Lauren hums. “What?”

“I don’t know if you can sing,” Camila deadpans, staring at the other girl in shock. “How do I not know that? That’s- that’s like, the _one_ thing I look for in a girl.”

Lauren laughs. “So, you’re saying… you’d date a girl who gets a kick out of stabbing you, as long as she can sing?”

“Uh, _yeah_ ,” Camila looks at her like she’s crazy. “Sing. Now.”

Lauren snorts in amusement. “No.”

“Oh my god…you can’t sing.” Camila shakes her head, sighing. “Ugh, I’m already fucking attached to you and everything. Dammit, that just makes this so much harder. Look, Lauren, I’m going to have to break up with you on the grounds that I can’t date someone tone-deaf. Bye.”

Camila makes no move to get up, and Lauren just laughs. “Who says I can’t sing?”

“Uh, you, indirectly,” Camila points out, rolling her eyes, “by refusing to sing.”

Lauren laughs at her, grabbing the TV remote to go to the YouTube search bar. “Alright, I can’t believe I’m showing you this, but… whatever.”

“Um… showing me what?” Camila frowns, waiting for the video Lauren chooses to upload. The older Latina just nods towards the TV, and when Camila looks back, her jaw drops. “Is that… is that _you_?”

Lauren laughs, watching the younger version of herself walk onto the _X Factor_ stage. “Um… yes. Don’t go too hard on me, with all your musical talent.”

 _“I’m sixteen, just turned sixteen_ ,” the Lauren on the screen says to the judges, and Camila stares at her in awe. “You were a fucking baby! Oh my god, you’re so tiny! Little baby Lo.”

Lauren blushes, biting down on her bottom lip. “Yeah. This was the summer between my sophomore and junior years. So, uh… four years ago. Nearly five.”

“So, first of all, just- _pause_ ,” Camila practically commands, and Lauren pauses it. “Your talking voice isn’t the same. At all. It doesn’t even sound like you. Are you sure it’s you?”

“Yes, Camz, I’m sure it’s me,” Lauren laughs, “I was a lot younger then, so that might be why. I was also fucking _nervous_. You can totally tell I’m about to pee my pants up there.”

Camila snorts. “I don’t blame you.”

As Lauren plays the video again, Camila tenses when it cuts to Lauren’s family, waiting backstage, and she presses a comforting kiss to the top of her girlfriend’s head. She opens her mouth to ask Lauren what she’s going to sing, but the on-screen version of her girlfriend answers.

 _“If I Aint Got You by Alicia Keys,”_ Lauren answers, and when she starts singing, Camila’s jaw drops and she squeezes her arms around Lauren tightly, kissing her cheek. “Of course you can fucking sing.”

Lauren sends her a shy smile. “Thanks, Camz.”

“Can we just… talk about your outfit for a second, though?” Camila laughs a little, looking the young Lauren over and trying to play it off like she’s not completely blown away by her girlfriend’s voice. “You would _never_ wear that today.”

“Like I said, I was sixteen,” Lauren points out with a laugh. “Styles change, I guess.”

“Yeah, you just hit your emo phase a little late,” Camila teases her, “seriously, Lo, most people have those in middle…”

She trails off when the on-screen Lauren hits the chorus, and she stares at the screen in awe, before she glances back at her girlfriend, who just blushes and shrugs. “Don’t be too harsh.”

“You’re… you’re perfect,” Camila stutters out as Lauren finishes her auditions and all of the judges give her praise. She can practically hear the nervousness in Lauren’s voice, and that’s when she smiles. “Okay, _that_ talking voice sounds like you. But… I didn’t realise you were so good.”

“Want to know a secret?” Lauren says, and Camila nods. “Like, a strong sixty percent of the time, I’d crack on the high note because I was so nervous. And at this point, it was like, the _most_ nervous I’d ever been, because it was on national television and all that. But… it worked out. Almost did a happy dance then and there when I hit it.”

“You’re so cute,” Camila says, watching as Lauren is given four yeses and runs to hug her family. She’s a little satisfied when she sees how Lauren runs into her dad’s arms first. “Wait, but you got four yeses. Which means you got through.”

“To bootcamp,” Lauren clarifies, “and that’s when I got eliminated. Looking back, I’m relieved that I did, because I definitely wouldn’t be in college right now if I’d won. If I’d actually been, like, successful in the music industry. And I see how shady it is from the outside, and I don’t think I’d want to be involved in it. But back then, I was a kid. All I saw was the shiny, beautiful outside of it all. Not the fucked up core of it.”

Camila takes in Lauren’s words and hums. “Yeah. I guess I can understand that. Besides, you never seemed the type to want to be a famous pop star.”

“That’s because I don’t want to be,” Lauren replies, rolling her eyes, “even then. I was more into alternative music and that whole alternative scene. Being in the mainstream media would’ve been terrifying. And, you know, now I just want to do something in politics. Fix this fucked up country.”

“I still think you’re an amazing singer,” Camila says, breathing out a sigh of relief. “Ohm thank _god_ , you can sing.”

Lauren laughs. “You wouldn’t really have broken up with me if I couldn’t sing, right?”

“…no.”

“ _Camila.”_

“Okay, _maybe.”_

-

**_ February _ **

“I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day, but here’s some chocolates,” Lauren announces, bursting into Camila’s bedroom as soon as she gets in from her last class of the day. “I practically demanded that I get the night off, _and_ I’ve already got some bistec empanizado cooking.”

Camila blinks, sitting up, not expecting such an abrupt wake-up call from her nap. “Um, hi.”

“Hi, babe,” Lauren smiles, kissing her cheek. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right, I have a valentine!” Camila grins to herself, thinking back to earlier in the day, when she’d bragged to a random stranger about how she had the hottest girlfriend on the planet. They’d just looked at her like she was crazy, but Camila didn’t care. “I feel like an asshole, you giving me chocolates and me just sitting here like an idiot.”

Lauren laughs. “Yeah, but you gave me flowers this morning, so we’re even.”

Camila sits up, pushing the blankets off and yawning. “Well, thank you for the chocolates, beautiful. You _also_ shouldn’t be cooking right now. I should’ve thought this through and remembered to book a table at a restaurant.”

“Homecooked meals are way more romantic,” Lauren points out, rolling her eyes, “we’ve got privacy, like it’s our own room in a restaurant, and my cooking is _miles_ better than any restaurant in the world. It’s all my abuela’s secret recipes, which means it’s going to be iconic, obviously.”

“We should take a picture and send it to Gordon Ramsay,” Camila says, standing up and stretching. “Maybe he’ll roast you.”

Lauren snorts. “ _Please_ , the man would practically bow down to my superior cooking.”

“I’m going to sign you up to _Hell’s Kitchen_ just because you said that,” Camila laughs, nodding towards her clothes. “I’m going to go get dressed.”

Lauren tilts her head to the side. “You’re in your pyjamas, which is perfectly fine _around the house_ attire.”

“Yeah, but it’s _not_ perfectly fine for a Valentine’s date with my hot girlfriend,” Camila points out, rolling her eyes, “so I have to get dressed.”

“Nope,” Lauren stops her, “I’m going to get in _my_ pyjamas. Then we’ll be equally as comfortable. Be right back.”

Lauren sends her a teasing smile as she leaves Camila’s room, and the younger girl just smiles after her, heading out into the lounge and flopping down on the couch. Lauren had already put a tablecloth on their dining table and set their places, as well as placed a few candles in the centre. She smiles a little at the simplicity, loving that her first Valentine’s Day with a valentine other than pizza is already so perfect.

Lauren comes out of her room in her sweatpants and a t-shirt, and Camila smiles at her, pulling her in for a kiss as she sits down.

“So,” She says as she pulls away from Lauren. “What’s the plan?”

“Well, you and I have a lovely romantic dinner, cooked by _moi_ ,” Lauren smiles, “ _then_ we can do whatever. Maybe put a trashy rom-com on and make fun of it.”

Camila hums in thought, before sending Lauren a teasing smirk. “Maybe. Or we could do… other things.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “Other things?”

Camila doesn’t bother elaborating, and just pulls Lauren close to her, gently running her fingers through the other girl’s hair. “How was class today?”

“Boring,” Lauren comments, but shrugs. “We had a test today, so I’m thinking maybe my professor for that class is single. But, considering it was a surprise, I think it went okay.”

“Duh, because you’re constantly studying,” Camila points out, and Lauren smiles. “You’re my smart baby.”

“I have to study to keep my scholarship,” Lauren reminds her. “Otherwise I’d get kicked out of college because I wouldn’t be able to pay for it, and then I’d have no purpose and I’d lay around the apartment all depressed.”

“Obviously you’d have a purpose,” Camila rolls her eyes, “you’re my hot girlfriend. You could accompany me to all of my classes so I could show you off to everyone. I like reminding everyone that the supposed _weird loner kid_ has a hot girlfriend.”

“Hey, you’re not a weird loner kid.” Lauren pouts at her. “You have friends.”

“Yeah, but I never used to, and I guess your reputation just sticks,” Camila shrugs, uncaring. “Besides, everyone at performing arts schools is just so _cutthroat_ all the time. It’s like, none of them are really friends. They’d stab each other in the back for a role any day.”

Lauren winces a little. “That sucks. I guess that’s why you’re dating me, right? Because I’m not a performer?”

“I guess that’s a tiny reason,” Camila shrugs, not having really thought about it before. “But it’s mostly because you were my super cute roommate who I wanted to make out with.”

Lauren laughs. “You’re the cute one.”

“Nope,” Camila answers, “I think you are.”

“Well,” Lauren smiles a little, “I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one.”

Camila rolls her eyes and gives Lauren a playful shove. “Whatever, go cook for me.”

“Damn, and here I thought I _wasn’t_ dating a fuckboy,” Lauren snorts, but gets up to check on the things she’s already prepared. “Guess I have to tell Dinah and Normani your true nature and get them to beat you up.”

Camila just laughs. “Sure, yeah, you’d totally set them on me. Even though Dinah keeps announcing that I’m her best friend.”

Lauren smiles softly. “Yeah. I like that you guys have gotten so close, you know?”

“You do?” Camila asks. “Because I was worried. About us having the same friends.”

“They wouldn’t ditch you if you decide to dump my ass, Camz. I think they’re a little too invested in you for that,” Lauren answers, stirring something in a pot. “Don’t worry about that.”

“It’s not that, it’s like… some couples turn toxic if they spend too much time together,” Camila explains, picking at a loose thread in the sweater she’s wearing. “We already _live_ together. Having the same friends is like… you can’t even go out with them to get a breather, you know?”

Lauren laughs. “It’s cute that you worry about that kind of thing, but you don’t need to. If I want alone time, I’d tell you and go to my bedroom. Or go for a walk. And I get a breather when I’m working or at class. It’s not like we’re together _constantly_.”

“Yeah, I guess you have a point,” Camila agrees, “I just never want to mess anything up with you. I really like you.”

Lauren smiles. “I know. I really like you too.”

Camila pouts. “But I really _really_ like you.”

“Okay, Carly Rae Jepsen.” Lauren teases her, sitting back down again, “How were _your_ classes today?”

“I only had one,” Camila answers, shrugging, “and it was uneventful. I just sat in the back and doodled my crush’s name in the back of my notebook like a middle schooler. I think my notebook is now filed with more _Lauren Jauregui_ than it is with actual _notes_.”

Lauren snorts. “Camz, don’t you want to do well in finals?”

“Duh,” Camila rolls her eyes, “but I _also_ really like your name. It’s pretty and Cuban and beautiful just like you. It’s fitting.”

“Well, thanks, Karla,” Lauren teases her, and Camila rolls her eyes, “I can see why you prefer your middle name.”

“You know what the most embarrassing thing about that is?” Camila sighs, head in her hands. “I didn’t even start introducing myself as Camila until my freshman year of college. It was a fresh start, and I figured I’d drop the first name I disliked. And it’s not like I was around my parents, who’d get offended if I told them I didn’t like the name they’d picked for me.”

Lauren frowns in thought for a moment, before her nose crinkles in disgust. “Yeah, I don’t want to scream _Karla_ when I’m being fucked, thanks. The neighbours would think I’m having an affair with some eighty year old.”

Camila chokes, shoving Lauren. “Jerk.”

“Camila is much better,” Lauren continues as if she hadn’t heard, “I like that.”

“Good,” Camila says, pulling Lauren close and kissing her, “because you’re going to be screaming it all night long, babygirl.”

Lauren blushes embarrassedly, looking away from her. “How do you know I like that?”

“I didn’t, just a lucky guess,” Camila grins, shrugging. “I got a lot of bottom vibes from you.”

Lauren just rolls her eyes and nods to the TV. “Put a movie on, loser.”

-

“Alright, maybe I’m eating my words right now, because you’re a really good chef,” Camila says, sending Lauren a shy smile. “I didn’t want to admit that until now.”

Lauren laughs. “Well, you’re my favourite dishwasher.”

“So… I can be easily replaced by a machine,” Camila deadpans, sighing, “good to know you care about me, baby.”

“Of course I care,” Lauren rolls her eyes, pulling Camila in for a kiss. “I adore you.”

“Cheesy much?” Camila laughs, but pulls Lauren back in for more kisses, melting into her girlfriend’s touch. “I adore you too.”

Lauren responds by kissing along her jawline, sucking on the sensitive skin of Camila’s pulse point, leaving her mark. Camila lets out a small moan at the sensation, her fingers tangling into Lauren’s hair.

“Your room or mine?” The younger Latina breathes, squeezing her eyes shut as Lauren kisses her neck.

Lauren smiles against Camila’s tan skin. “Yours.”

Camila smiles, and pulls Lauren up, tugging her into her bedroom and kicking the door closed behind them. Then, she turns around, pining the older girl against the closed door, and kisses Lauren’s neck, leaving her mark everywhere. She wants everyone to know that Lauren is taken.

Lauren whimpers, and the ache between Camila’s legs intensifies as her fingers play with the hem of Lauren’s shirt. “Can I take this off of you, gorgeous?”

Lauren nods, and Camila smiles, pulling Lauren’s shirt over her head and tossing it across the room. She grins when she realises her girlfriend hadn’t bothered to wear a bra, and pulls Lauren over to the bed, loving the sight of her gorgeous girlfriend as she lays down. She smiles, and pulls her sweater off, tossing it across the room, before she straddles Lauren’s waist and leans down, leaving her mark across Lauren’s breasts.

“You’re so beautiful,” Camila murmurs between kisses, “and I can’t believe you’re all mine.”

“You know,” Lauren cuts herself off with a small whine when Camila’s thumb runs over the sensitive peak of her breast, “I didn’t think… when I advertised for a roommate… that this… this would happen.”

Camila laughs lightly, fingertips caressing the pale skin of Lauren’s breasts. “I don’t think anyone could’ve expected this.”

Lauren sits up, her hands on Camila’s waist, and she looks up at her girlfriend. “Can I… um, take your bra off?”

“Yeah, baby,” Camila answers, guiding Lauren’s hands up towards her bra clasp. “You can.”

Lauren’s fingers fumble for a moment, but she takes the bra off and it joins their already discarded shirts across the room. Lauren’s gaze flicks downwards, and she leans in, kissing the bare skin of Camila’s breasts. She’s not sucking, trying to leave hickeys, just placing gentle kisses across the younger girl’s skin.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” Lauren murmurs, and Camila’s hands cup her jaw and pull her in for a kiss. “I just… you’re everything to me.”

“You’re everything to me, too.” Camila smiles, laying Lauren down again, “can I make you feel as special as you are?”

Lauren blinks up at her, but nods. “Just- um, are you sure? Are you ready?”

“Yeah, baby,” Camila smiles. “I’m ready.”

“Okay, but, just,” Lauren turns her head when Camila goes in for another kiss, “know that you can change your mind at any time, okay? And we’ll stop.”

“I know, Laur,” Camila assures, kissing her, “I know.”

“Okay,” Lauren murmurs, “alright. Good.”

Camila smiles, her fingers playing with the elastic of Lauren’s sweatpants. “Let’s get these sweats off you, huh?”

Lauren nods, and gets her sweatpants off, tossing them across the room, and it doesn’t take too long for Camila’s sleep shorts to join them. The younger Latina pays close attention to Lauren’s breasts again, kissing them and marking them and playing with the sensitive tips, all the while making sure her leg is grinding in just the right place over Lauren’s clothed centre. One layer. That’s all that separates Camila and Lauren.

“Hey, baby?” Camila mumbles between kisses, “Can you make me feel good? Could you do that for me, babygirl?”

Lauren nods, and pushes herself up, kissing Camila gently, slowly flipping them over. “What would you- um… can I take your panties off?”

“Of course you can, beautiful,” Camila murmurs, and Lauren hooks a finger over the waistband of Camila’s panties and pulls them down. Camila gasps slightly as Lauren’s finger teases her entrance, and mumbles, “make me feel good, baby.”

Lauren listens immediately, slowly thrusting two fingers into Camila’s centre, curling them in all the right places. Camila moans, loving the way it feels to have Lauren inside of her, to be so connected and close with her girl, and when Lauren moves slightly to kiss her as she’s touching her, and making her feel so good, Camila’s heart practically melts.

Camila moans when Lauren’s thumb starts to rub gentle circles into her clit, and she’s overwhelmed with so much love and feeling for Lauren that she finally understands why people talk about sex so much, why they act like it’s such an amazing thing. Camila gets it, because it’s making her feel so close to Lauren, so connected, and she’s never felt more truly valued and cared for in her life.

Lauren’s thumb presses on her clit as she adds another finger, taking Camila’s bottom lip between hers. Camila gasps at the contact, at the tension building in her lower half, and Lauren uses that opportunity to slip her tongue into the younger girl’s mouth.

“Baby,” Camila mumbles, “I’m so close, Lo.”

Lauren speeds up her movements, curling her fingers inside of Camila, and sending her over the edge. The younger Latina falls apart in Lauren’s arms, calling out her girlfriend’s name as she comes, and Lauren dots kisses across her cheeks as she comes down from her high.

Camila pulls Lauren in for a kiss and mumbles, “ _you’re so good, baby_.”

Lauren kisses her. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Mhm. You’re gorgeous, baby,” Camila murmurs as she flips them over and kisses down Lauren’s tummy. “Every inch of you is perfect. Will you let me make you feel good?”

“Please,” Lauren mumbles, “please, Camz.”

Camila smiles, and kisses down to Lauren’s clothed centre, playing attention to her girlfriend’s beautiful thighs, and kissing every scar or stretch mark she can see, because it’s all gorgeous to her. It’s all _Lauren_ , and everything about Lauren is beautiful.

She pulls Lauren’s panties down and kisses her girlfriend’s centre, smiling when she hears the sharp breath Lauren takes. She uses her tongue to trace circles around her girl’s clit, and she loves the way Lauren moans her name, practically begging her to go faster.

“Fuck,” Lauren curses as Camila kisses her clit, “Camz, please, baby…”

“You’re gorgeous,” Camila murmurs, before she massages Lauren’s clit with her tongue, the gasps and moans more beautiful than any symphony she’s ever heard, because they’re coming from Lauren. They’re coming from her girl, her soulmate, her everything.

She kisses Lauren’s clit, and her girlfriend’s fingers tangle in her hair, pushing her down in a silent plead to go faster, and Camila complies, wanting to give Lauren the release she deserves. When Lauren sucks in a deep breath and gasps out, “ _Camz,”_ Camila can imagine the feeling of ecstasy that her girlfriend is having.

When Lauren’s breathing evens out, Camila smiles, and moves up to kiss her, still tasting her girl on her lips.

“That was…” Lauren pauses, sighing in content, “amazing. You’re amazing.”

Camila smiles and loops her fingers through Lauren’s. “You’re amazing too, babygirl. And I’m so… happy.”

“I’m just…” Lauren pauses and sighs again, turning to her with a small smile. “I’m just so honoured that you chose to share that part of yourself with me. Thank you, baby. It was wonderful.”

“You’re wonderful,” Camila murmurs, kissing her again. “I never want to do that with anybody else.”

Lauren just smiles in response, staring up at the ceiling, completely overwhelmed by happiness, and feeling whole for the first time in years.

-

**_ March _ **

Camila scowls at the phone as it rings and slams the textbook shut. “Lauren. Your phone is ringing.”

Lauren just sighs and moves past her to pick it up. “Sorry, baby, it’ll probably be my boss, asking me to work. Nobody else ever actually _calls_.”

Camila nods, and goes back to her work, as Lauren grabs her phone from the coffee table and answers it without looking.

“Hey, sorry, if you’re wanting me to work tonight, you…” when Lauren trails off and freezes on the way to her bedroom, Camila looks up, frowning at her and mouthing a small _you okay_? “I-… _mom_?”

Camila blinks in surprise. “Put it on speaker.”

She knows it sounds a little nosey, but Lauren does it anyway, sitting down next to her and staring down at the phone.

 _“I- yes, Lauren, it’s- it’s your mother,”_ the voice is shaky, like she’s about to cry, but Camila recognises it. “ _I- I’m calling to- to… to tell you I’m sorry.”_

Lauren blinks in surprise and stares down at the phone. Her mouth works, like she’s trying to think of the words to say, but the only thing that tumbles out is, “What?”

“ _I, well, we- we got a visitor the other day,”_ Clara starts, and Lauren just stares down at the phone, _“It was… it was Keana and- and she said that- that… she made everything up because she was frightened of being rejected by her parents if she came out to them. She told me that she did approach you. Not the other way around. She- she said you were telling the truth.”_

“I- I- um,” Lauren stutters, staring down at the phone, then looking back up to Camila with wide eyes. “What?”

 _“She told me that it’s why- why she never pressed charges,”_ Clara continues, her voice shakier _, “I- I’m so—Taylor… she gave me your number, baby, said you’d- you’d come home and-”_

Lauren blinks down at the phone. “You know? You know I was… telling the truth?”

“ _Oh my god, I’m so sorry, sweetheart,”_ Clara sobs down the phone, and Lauren doesn’t know what to do or say. It’s like she’s frozen in time. _“I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you. Is there any way you can fly home so we can talk? Your father and I will pay for the flight, we really want to make this up to you.”_

“Make it up to me?” Lauren repeats, her heart soaring, because those are the words she’s been desperate to hear, but her head knows better. That’s what makes her second-guess. That’s when her voice turns cold. “ _Make it up to me?_ Do you _not_ realise how much fucking emotional trauma you’ve caused? You could _never_ make this up to me.”

 _“No, no, Lauren, please, don’t hang up_ ,” Clara begs her, and Lauren hesitates, her thumb over the _end call_ button. She looks over at Camila, who mouths _hang up_ , but something in Lauren wants to give her mother a chance. She hates herself for it. _“Please, just- let’s talk about this, please come home-”_

“Wow, quick change from _never darken our doorstep again_ ,” Lauren snaps, her hand curling into a fist. “Let’s not forget _if this goes to court, I’ll testify against you_. Let’s not forget you _kicking me out_ , telling me I’m _worthless,_ a _sick pervert_ , that I deserve to be _locked up_. You rejected me, refused to believe me even when it was my abuelita telling you, and now you realise you’re wrong, you’ve just come crawling back to do _what_ exactly?”

 _“To make things right_ ,” Clara insists, “ _I promise. You’re my daughter, my first baby, and I made a mistake-”_

“You didn’t consider me your daughter yesterday,” Lauren scowls down at the phone, “I’m not coming home. I want _nothing_ to do with you, _or_ dad, but what you _can_ do is let my siblings come and visit me, because they’re the only two people I want anything to do with.”

 _“Lauren, baby, we’re family,”_ Clara tries, and if anything, that just makes Lauren angrier. “ _We made a mistake and-”_

“But it’s not _family_ when it’s _you_ rejecting _me_ , is it?” Lauren scoffs, “Besides, I don’t need you. I already have a family, and her name is Camila. She’s one of the only people in my life who loves me unconditionally, who _believed_ me wholeheartedly, and _that’s_ what family is about. Not whatever bullshit you spout.”

Camila wraps her arms around Lauren, feeling an overwhelming sense of pride in her girlfriend. She wants to scream _take that_ down the phone, but she feels like she might ruin the effect of Lauren’s words, and that’s the last thing she wants.

This fight is Lauren’s, and Lauren’s alone.

 _“Lauren, please,”_ Clara begs, _“please, your dad and I need you to come home, we need to fix this. We need to talk it out and forgive-”_

“Forgive you? For all of the shit you’ve done? You didn’t bother defending your own _kid_ when someone falsely accused her of _sexual assault._ In fact, you went as far as to be actively _against_ me just because you couldn’t handle that I’m bisexual. That could’ve ruined my fucking life. I could’ve lost my scholarship and every fucking chance I would’ve had to do something with my life.” Lauren rants, and Camila rubs her back comfortingly, trying to soothe her. “No. Fuck you. I could never forgive you for something like that. Dad, maybe, because he tried to give me as much as he could, but not you. Never you.”

Clara sobs on the other end of the line, but Camila has no sympathy for her. Neither does Lauren. “ _Lauren, please, I’m your mother-”_

“And I was your kid.” Lauren interrupts coldly. “Didn’t stop you from cutting me off. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have a mother. Tell Chris and Taylor they’re welcome to come and see me any time they want. Bye.”

With that, Lauren hangs up, and lets out a long breath, running a hand through her hair. Camila dots kisses across her cheeks. “I’m so proud of you for that. For not just blindly forgiving her just because you missed what you used to have.”

Lauren wipes at her eyes, shaking her head. “I would’ve, if I hadn’t met you.”

Camila blinks in confusion, but smiles. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Lauren admits, finally meeting her gaze, “If I hadn’t met you, I would’ve just forgiven her straight away, just to get back that sense of family. That sense of inclusion. But then you showed up and changed my perception of everything. You showed me that even though I lost one family, I gained another. I gained you, and all your crazy. You showed me that family doesn’t have to be the thing you’re born into. You showed me that it’s the bonds you forge, and the way you show your love to the people you surround yourself with. And most importantly, you truly helped me learn that I don’t need my mother’s acceptance, because I have _unconditional_ acceptance in other people. In people like you. And… and that’s why I fell in love with you.”

Camila breathes in sharply, the words hitting her in an instant. She feels everything towards Lauren, like her heart is bursting with so much love towards her that she just can’t comprehend it, because those words in Lauren’s voice are truly the most beautiful thing she’s ever heard.

“You moved into this apartment, and you moved into my heart, too.” Lauren tells her, pulling her in for a gentle kiss. “Camila, I love you. I love you so much that I don’t know how to comprehend it sometimes.”

“Oh my god, Lauren,” Camila murmurs, burying her face in Lauren’s neck and gripping her girlfriend tightly. She looks up, wanting Lauren to know she means it, gazing right into those green eyes. “I love you too. I really, really do.”

Lauren pulls her in for another electrifying kiss, her stomach twisting and turning as she captures her girlfriend’s lips between her own, and the way Camila feels her nerves set on fire with passion as Lauren’s fingers graze her skin.

When Lauren pulls away, she sends Camila a teary smile. “Not so bad, for moving into an apartment with a stranger, huh?”

“No.” Camila mumbles. “Not so bad at all.”


End file.
